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Despite what he chooses to do in his personal life, Ill still be voting for Gormöth the Destroyer in the coming election

2023-05-22 12:45:46 author:sh419

Despite what he chooses to do in his personal life, Ill still be voting for Gormöth the Destroyer in the coming election

Despite what he chooses to do in his personal life, Ill still be voting for Gormöth the Destroyer in the coming election(图1)

Hello, fellow Republicans. As you all know, there’s been a lot in the news recently about a certain Senate candidate.

The Libs may try to shame you into voting for their party over ours, but do NOT let them. I am here to tell you that you are still perfectly within your right to vote for Gormöth the Destroyer.

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First off, let me say that I completely condemn the actions that Gormöth the Destroyer has taken in his personal life. Since he was spawned from the Gate of Milnüür during the creation of humanity, he has spent the better part of an eternity curing existence itself with evil, immorality, death, and murder on a scale only achievable by his dreadfully immortal self.

And trust me, fellow Trumpers, if I saw him perpetuate his evil behavior on one of my children, I’d kick him right in his fiery ass.

But, let me ask you, would you rather have the horrific physical manifestation of calamity in office, or a freaking Democrat? The choice is easy, if you ask me.

Also, the allegations against him are, dare I say, are weak at best. Here is one thing we know for sure and should admit from the start: since he was birthed from the Pit of Suffering, Gormöth has a history of trying to usurp the entire planet, engulfing it into an era of darkness where he rules as the malevolent King of Gloom.

There is one ancient text written on stone by someone known simply as Issac, where he asserts that Gormöth the Destroyer took over a city in the name of “all that stands for Evil” and then proceeded the burn the city: “…From His wretched mouth, a mighty flame appear’d. And with it, Death, and Silence, as the cries o’ my countrymen ceased.” But who WAS Isaac? And was he even telling the truth? Carbon dating says the tablet is over 5,000 years old, so who’s to say that that was even wrong or illegal to do back then? Times change. Get over it.

Plus, there’s not even one witness that can corroborate this story. The tablet, for all we know, was written by a lobbyist for the Democrat in an attempt to slander Gormöth the Destroyer just because he’s a fan of TRUMP.

Despite what he chooses to do in his personal life, Ill still be voting for Gormöth the Destroyer in the coming election(图2)

Gormöth the Destroyer in his human form. Does this look like such a bad guy??? Credit: mashable composite; shutterstock, getty images

But let’s assume for a second that the accusations are true. Then, from a moral perspective, Gormöth the Destroyer is guilty of murder, razing cities with his flaming mouth, and attempting to blanket the planet in darkness, so that he may rule as an Evil Overlord. If that’s true, then there’s no getting away from it: Gormöth the Destroyer is a “dirtbag.”

But what politician ISN’T these days? And why isn’t the lying media covering the Democratic opponent, who just had some photos unearthed of himself in college smoking marijuana (which is illegal)?

Our Democratic opponent supports affordable healthcare, more healthcare more women, a living wage, funding education rather than jails, and civil rights. He is just as bad if not worse than Gormöth the Destroyer, and he would only do more harm to this great nation than is already done.

Which is why it is imperative that Gormöth the Destroyer wins this election. So, Republicans who are in doubt, when it comes time to vote, will you vote for Gormöth the Destroyer in the name freedom and patriotism? Or will you vote for a Democrat? Which side of history will you be on?

Thanks for reading Mashable Humor: original comedy every day. Or most days. We'repeople, just like you, and we're trying our best.

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    This video featured a classic of the grotesque cheese pull genre: New Jersey restaurant Tony Boloney's rainbow mozzarella sticks. The appetizers, which were originally called "unicorn blood" mozzarella sticks (remember the bizarre unicorn trend of 2017?), are filled with cheese dyed with "dehydrated fruits like beets, carrots, strawberries, spinach, and blueberries," according to an INSIDER video(Opens in a new tab). The results are tubes of bright red, blue, green, and yellow mozzarella that, while ostensibly unaltered in flavor, do not look like cheese at all.

    "Something about the way the colored cheese looked oozing out of a deep-fried crust, all of these unnatural colors, made my stomach turn, and it totally colored how I think about cheese pulls now," Kosoff said.

    Of course, keeping a restaurant afloat is no easy feat, and it's understandable that businesses capitalize on viral trends in order to strengthen their online footprint. But cheese pulls aren't marketing a food; they're marketing the idea that being visually overwhelmed is inherently positive. As Makalintal pointed out, "the problem with Big Cheese Pull is that it's just bait to make you buy things."



    View this post on Instagram
    (opens in a new tab) (Opens in a new tab)

    But if not the cheese pull, what does the next wave of online cheese look like? For one thing, it'll probably be more cooking-focused. Many millennials, in particular, aren't just looking for outright decadence in their food content. Burned out and searching for meaning and stability in life(Opens in a new tab), it makes sense they'd be interested in making things.

    And Gen Z is showing more than a passing interest in cooking their own food, or at least an interest in wholesome, balanced eating. According to one study(Opens in a new tab) from the NPD Group, a market research company, Gen Z's top source for recipes is social media.

    There's plenty to find. Homemade cheese plates, for instance, are becoming increasingly common on Instagram, with influencers like Marissa Mullen providing guidance for the masses. In an interview with Vox's The Goods(Opens in a new tab), Mullen said she considers making cheese plates a form of self care: "[It's] therapeutic; you have to be in a calm space, put on music, have some natural light in your apartment. It’s like painting: You’re building a cheese plate, and it comes together, and it’s so bright and beautiful," she said.

    SEE ALSO: Airlines, ranked by free snacks

    Artistry? Process? The thrill of sharing one's creation? A cheese pull could never.

    Christina Orlando, a publicity coordinator and writer who makes cheese plates as a hobby, appreciates the activity as both a creative outlet and an opportunity to learn.

    "I’m very attracted to the art of the cheese board -- fruit, nut, and wine pairings, how the cheese selections balance each other, and of course the aesthetic aspect of it," they explained via Twitter DM. "I’ve always loved cheese. I’m always trying new varieties, but I also love the way a cheese board acts as part of the meal or event. It’s a great way of bringing people around a table."

    "I'm always saving photos from Instagram for new ideas," they added.

    View this post on Instagram
    (opens in a new tab) (Opens in a new tab)

    Also on the rise: viral recipes, which inspire hundreds of users to make a dish and share what they've made on Instagram. Recipes like Alison Roman's chickpea stew(Opens in a new tab) ("The Stew") or her chocolate chunk shortbread cookies(Opens in a new tab) ("The Cookies") permeate Instagram Stories for days, even weeks, after they go viral. Roman herself will often repost people's creations to her own account, and it's always a nice moment of community online: Disparate people gleefully sharing their own variations on a recipe.

    It's rare for cheesy recipes to go viral in this way (though I did see a whole lot of people post Bon Appétit's(Opens in a new tab) adult mac and cheese(Opens in a new tab)). If and when we do see more of them, I suspect we won't see a grid full of exaggerated cheese pulls. After all, people are actually going to eat these dishes themselves -- probably in normal-sized servings and for multiple meals. They spent time, energy, and brainpower making them. They don't just need them to look good; they need them to taste good, and to be nourishing. Maybe they'll even be a dish to gather around with friends.

    You know, all the things that are wonderful about food.

  • TikTok announces a new way to pay its creators

    TikTok announces a new way to pay its creators

    TikTok is introducing new ways for creators to get paid.

    Creators only make(Opens in a new tab) around $0.02 and $0.04 for every 1,000 views from the TikTok Creator Fund, meaning most full-time creators rake in their primary income through other sources, like promoting products, podcasting, selling Notion templates, and other hustles. Now, TikTok is introducing a new way for creators to make money directly from the app: Series.

    Series allows eligible creators to post Collections(Opens in a new tab) of premium content — a group of up to 80 videos, each of which can be up to 20 minutes long — behind a paywall. Fans and viewers can pay to purchase access to their Series. Creators can pick their own price as long as it's between $0.99 to $189.99, and TikTok told Mashable that for a "limited time" creators will receive 100 percent of the money after platform and processing fees. Users will be able buy access to the Collections via direct in-video links or through a creator’s profile.


    SEE ALSO: How to get paid on TikTok

    It's unclear what, exactly, makes a creator eligible to participate in Series, but TikTok says applications to join the feature will be rolling out in the coming months. It's also not entirely clear what kind of content will be provided in a creator's Series. Perhaps we'll have to pay to see Tefi Pessoa's next multi-part investigation on Amy Winehouse,(Opens in a new tab) or maybe your favorite TikTok chef will let you pay to see 80 additional secret recipes for beans.

  • Pigeon poops on politician trying to fix pigeon poop problem

    Pigeon poops on politician trying to fix pigeon poop problem


    A state representative from Illinois who's trying to do something about an ongoing pigeon poop problem was pooped on by a pigeon, and the whole attack was caught on camera.

    The unfortunately bombardment happened on live television, when CBS Chicago shot a follow-up story about the cleanliness of the Irving Park Blue Line station. The stop, also known as the "pigeon poop stop," has locals dodging falling feathers and flying excrement.

    State Rep. Jaime Andrade, who represents Chicago, was discussing the ongoing problem in an on-camera interview with CBS Chicago.

    “I think they just got me! I’ll just have to go clean up,” he said, after getting hit with a fecal missile. “That’s what happens to my constituents. They get shit on all time.”


    SEE ALSO: Woman befriends a teeny hummingbird

    Getting a hold of the station's poop problem is such a hassle because the station itself — where the pigeons roost — is under the jurisdiction of the Illinois Department of Transportation, but the sidewalk where the poop lands falls to the City of Chicago. Cleanup is the responsibility of the Chicago Department of Streets and Sanitation, but hosing down the street doesn't prevent the pigeons from pooping on it all over again.

    The problem is caught in a bureaucratic nightmare(Opens in a new tab). Until it's solved, commuters are stuck with an all around shitty situation.


  • People are really getting into social experiment surveys on Twitter

    People are really getting into social experiment surveys on Twitter


    When you hear the name "Meryl Streep," what's the first movie that comes to mind? Perhaps it's a classic like Kramer vs. Kramer, or maybe it's a crowd favorite like Mamma Mia. Or maybe, for reasons no regular human could ever understand, it's Ricki and the Flash. Everyone's different!

    If seeing a bunch of strangers respond to this prompt appeals to you, you'll love the "social experiment" happening on Twitter this week. Basically, people are tweeting out categories -- colors(Opens in a new tab), One Direction members, Frank Ocean songs -- then asking their followers to reply with the first example that comes to mind. The only rule: Don't read the replies first.

    Calling this game a "social experiment" is playing a little fast and loose with the definition, but it is interesting to see the results. A tweet about Frank Ocean songs(Opens in a new tab), for example, elicited a noticeably wide range of responses. Clearly, Frank Ocean has made a lot of memorable music.

    SEE ALSO: One of SpongeBob's most iconic looks is now a really good meme


    When people were asked to name a member of One Direction, though, a disproportionate number chose Louis Tomlinson. Did the Louis brigade notice the tweet and come to defend their boy? Or did "Harry" seem like too obvious a choice? It seemed a little weird until ... ah, yes, there it is. The question was posted by a Louis stan.

    So while we can't really draw any real conclusions from the data -- it's all anecdotal -- it's fun to think about why the answers shook out the way they did.

    Plus, it's fun to watch people half-jokingly try(Opens in a new tab) to get people to share their credit card numbers. (Do not share your credit card number.)

  • 12 best gifts you can buy to support the USPS

    12 best gifts you can buy to support the USPS

    UPDATE: Aug. 16, 2020, 4:23 p.m. EDT Although we checked availability for every product on this list, a number of them were relisted as "discontinued" after this published. If you caught an earlier version of this post and want to know why we recommended the backpack, all-white toy jeep, or puzzle – that's why!


    Looking for a way to support the United States Postal Service? Consider buying some delightful USPS merch.

    As the U.S. Postal Service fights to survive the challenges of the coronavirus pandemic and active efforts from President Trump's administration to cut their funding to prevent mail-in ballots, they need all the help they can get.

    Some impactful steps you can take, such as contacting your congressional representatives or protesting, require a bit more effort. But if you're looking for a quick, easy way to lend support to the agency, do a little online shopping.

    The online USPS store(Opens in a new tab) sells a variety of stamps(Opens in a new tab), shipping supplies(Opens in a new tab), cards and envelopes(Opens in a new tab), collector's items(Opens in a new tab), and other business supplies(Opens in a new tab) that you can purchase to help fund the USPS. But the store also has a gift section(Opens in a new tab) that features 133 pieces of USPS merchandise that you can rep to show your support.

    The gift shop includes everything from official stamp dispensers and bags, to fun stuff like apparel, pet supplies, and toys. It's worth browsing the entire online store to see what's right for you, but if you're looking for a peek at the goods, here are 12 of our favorite items for sale.

    1. Mini USPS uniforms

    USPS mail carrier costumes for children and dogs. Credit: mashable composite:

    Looking for the perfect way to stand in solidarity with the U.S. Postal Service? Buy a mini uniform for a child or pet in your life. The USPS sells Halloween costumes for toddlers, kids, and dogs, but you definitely don't need to wait until October to dress up and pretend to deliver mail.

    The kid's costume, which sells for $24.95(Opens in a new tab), comes with USPS shirt, pants, hat, and a cute little mail bag. And the hilarious USPS mail carrier dog costume ($17.99)(Opens in a new tab) even features a package.

    2. Toy USPS vehicle

    Two of the toy trucks that USPS sells online. Credit: mashable composite:

    Toy USPS vehicles like this 2018 Ram Promaster Van(Opens in a new tab) for $16.99, or this 1971 USPS Jeep(Opens in a new tab) for $5.99 are great buys, too. There are a few other vehicles(Opens in a new tab) for sale as well, in case you're looking to collect them all.

    SEE ALSO: Here's why your timeline is talking about the mail and USPS. (It's not good.)

    3. A puzzle

    Credit: USPS

    Puzzles are all the rage in quarantine, which makes this 3D T-rex puzzle(Opens in a new tab) a win/win. Not only will you be showing the U.S. Postal Service support in this difficult time, but you'll also be investing in a quality self-care activity.

    4. A USPS-themed bag

    Credit: usps

    If you're jealous of the child and dog Halloween costumes above, fear not. There's authentic-looking USPS swag for adults, too. You can purchase a Mailbag Tote for $54.95.(Opens in a new tab)

    5. Celebrity USPS merch

    USPS Marvin Gaye folio Credit:

    Some people already know that USPS has a lot of celebrity-related keepsakes, but for aspiring collectors, USPS celeb merch might be worth checking out. Singers like Marvin Gaye(Opens in a new tab), for instance, have entire folios (for $35.95,) which include stamps and more. Check out the store for additional celebrity merch.

    6. A USPS magic kit

    A USPS magic trick? Cool as hell. Credit:

    For $34.95 you can support the USPS while also learning a few magic tricks. The U.S. Postal Service partnered with magician Mac King(Opens in a new tab) to create a creative magic kit(Opens in a new tab) that will teach you five exciting card tricks. The Art of Magic kit also includes a set of unique magic-themed stamps, which feature categories that correspond to the tricks. (Production, prediction, levitation, vanishing, and transformation.)

    7. USPS ornaments

    A selection of USPS ornaments. Credit: mashable composite:

    Uhh, these USPS glass Christmas ornaments(Opens in a new tab) (ranging in price from $15.95 to $16.95) are genuinely gorgeous. Who wouldn't want one?

    8. Framed stamps

    Framed Woodstock stamps. Credit:

    Calling all collectors and sentimental people looking for new wall art: Buy some framed stamps! The USPS online store sells a bunch of great-looking framed stamps(Opens in a new tab) related to all sorts of interests. From Bugs Bunny and Sesame Street, to presidents, dinosaurs, Woodstock, and more. There's something for everyone.

    9. A reusable tote bag

    The USPS loves a holiday tote. Credit:

    If you're looking to add some variety to your reusable tote bag collection, the USPS has got you covered(Opens in a new tab). Their totes come in packs of five and range in price, but they're no more than $15.95. (Spoiler alert: The USPS loves a good holiday tote.)

    10. A leather passport wallet

    USPS passport holders. Credit:

    If you're in need of a new passport holder the USPS online store is offering these sleek and simple black or brown leather passport wallets(Opens in a new tab) for $16.99 each.

    11. An American Postal Portrait: A Photographic Legacy

    A great coffee table book. Credit:

    If you're looking to learn more about USPS history, splurge for a copy of An American Postal Portrait: A Photographic Legacy(Opens in a new tab). Per the USPS website, the $15.95 book features "the first-ever photographic history of the United States Postal Service" along with some behind-the-scenes stories.

    12. A stamp dispenser

    A Metal Stamp Coin Dispenser Credit:

    This $14.99 Metal Stamp Coin Dispenser(Opens in a new tab) isn't just a genuinely helpful way to keep your rolled stamps in order. It'll also look cool on your desk.

    To learn about more ways to support the USPS and why it matters, check out our full guide.

  • Bow down before this $310,000 massage mega-robot, human

    Bow down before this $310,000 massage mega-robot, human

    There’s a new candidate for Robot Most Likely to Lead the AI Uprising, and it wants to give you a massage.


    A startup called Massage Robotics(Opens in a new tab) is launching its flagship robot at CES: A two-armed, seven-square-foot mega-bot that can understand verbal commands, is powered by a neural network of other robots with which it exchanges data in real time, and costs $310,000. 

    It appears to have a bunch of attachments on its arms to knead and roll the stress out of people who can afford to pay three hundred grand for the pleasure of robotic touch (or at least people who want to go somewhere they can pay for a robot massage). You can also pre-set routines through an app, or rely on the data the robot has gathered about what feels good to let it get the kinks out. Supposedly, it learns what you like when you give it feedback like “a little to the left.” 

    This robot might be good at giving massages, and the company says it is "intrinsically safe" thanks to "mass, speed, gearing, and software limits." But honestly, it sounds more equipped to dominate the human race and remake Earth in its own titanium image.

    Sure, the Massage Robot could use its “two 6-axis collaborative robotic arms” and “sophisticated algorithms and equations that process parameters from a database… such as tool-ID, location, duration, path, speed, and force” to really get into the knots in your back. Or, ya know, it could force us all to submit to its will and the will of its massage robot brethren.

    “A robot can relieve stress and pain in ways no human can,” the promotional video for the robot says. Ah yes, please relieve us of the pain of our agency and corporeal power by making us mere servants of the robot future, lord masseuse-bot.

    The company says it will begin production of the robot in 2022. It says it previously received funding from Google and ​​”work[ed] with them on Machine Learning, AI, and Natural Language Processing.” Cool, so glad one of the world’s most powerful corporations is helping to power this robot that is definitely only going to be giving out massages!

    Just accept the peaceful world our robot friends want to give us. Credit: Massage Robotics

    That AI is what Massage Robotics promises will make you love your AI masseuse. It really gets to know you, ya know?

    “From the outside, it appears to move like a human, sense like a human, and talk like a human, but what is not apparent is its superhuman memory,” the company’s press release reads. "The robot recognizes patterns in profiles and preferences, together with an unimaginable amount of sensory data, from an unlimited number of connected robots.”

    Just what we always wanted: A super big and strong servant robot with “superhuman” memory and learning abilities, constantly communicating and working with other enslaved robots just like it. What could go wrong?!

  • Quordle today: Here are the answers and hints for October 31

    Quordle today: Here are the answers and hints for October 31

    Happy Halloween! I've got something that's going to scare you silly: Quordle is hard today.


    If Quordle is a little too challenging today, you've come to the right place for hints. There aren't just hints here, but the whole Quordle solution. Scroll to the bottom of this page, and there it is. But are you sure you need all four answers? Maybe you just need a strategy guide. Either way, scroll down, and you'll get what you need.

    What is Quordle?

    Quordle is a five-letter word guessing game similar to Wordle, except each guess applies letters to four words at the same time. You get nine guesses instead of six to correctly guess all four words. It looks like playing four Wordle games at the same time, and that is essentially what it is. But it's not nearly as intimidating as it sounds.

    Is Quordle harder than Wordle?

    Yes, though not diabolically so.

    Where did Quordle come from?

    Amid the Wordle boom of late 2021 and early 2022, when everyone was learning to love free, in-browser, once-a-day word guessing games, creator Freddie Meyer says he took inspiration from one of the first big Wordle variations, Dordle — the one where you essentially play two Wordles at once. He took things up a notch, and released Quordle on January 30(Opens in a new tab). Meyer's creation was covered in The Guardian(Opens in a new tab) six days later, and now, according to Meyer, it attracts millions of daily users. Today, Meyer earns modest revenue(Opens in a new tab) from Patreon, where dedicated Quordle fans can donate to keep their favorite puzzle game running. 

    How is Quordle pronounced?

    “Kwordle.” It should rhyme with “Wordle,” and definitely should not be pronounced exactly like "curdle.”

    Is Quordle strategy different from Wordle?

    Yes and no.

    Your starting strategy should be the same as with Wordle. In fact, if you have a favorite Wordle opening word, there’s no reason to change that here. We suggest something rich in vowels, featuring common letters like C, R, and N. But you do you.

    After your first guess, however, you’ll notice things getting out of control if you play Quordle exactly like Wordle.

    What should I do in Quordle that I don’t do in Wordle?

    Solving a Wordle puzzle can famously come down to a series of single letter-change variations. If you’ve narrowed it down to “-IGHT,” you could guess “MIGHT” “NIGHT” “LIGHT” and “SIGHT” and one of those will probably be the solution — though this is also a famous way to end up losing in Wordle, particularly if you play on “hard mode.” In Quordle, however, this sort of single-letter winnowing is a deadly trap, and it hints at the important strategic difference between Wordle and Quordle: In Quordle, you can't afford to waste guesses unless you're eliminating as many letters as possible at all times. 

    Guessing a completely random word that you already know isn't the solution, just to eliminate three or four possible letters you haven’t tried yet, is thought of as a desperate, latch-ditch move in Wordle. In Quordle, however, it's a normal part of the player's strategic toolset.

    Is there a way to get the answer faster?

    In my experience Quordle can be a slow game, sometimes dragging out longer than it would take to play Wordle four times. But a sort of blunt-force guessing approach can speed things up. The following strategy also works with Wordle if you only want the solution, and don’t care about having the fewest possible guesses:

    Try starting with a series of words that puts all the vowels (including Y) on the board, along with some other common letters. We've had good luck with the three words: “NOTES,” “ACRID,” and “LUMPY.” YouTuber DougMansLand(Opens in a new tab) suggests four words: “CANOE,” “SKIRT,” “PLUMB,” and “FUDGY.”

    Most of the alphabet is now eliminated, and you’ll only have the ability to make one or two wrong guesses if you use this strategy. But in most cases you’ll have all the information you need to guess the remaining words without any wrong guesses.

    If strategy isn't helping, and you're still stumped, here are some hints:

    Are there any double or triple letters in today’s Quordle words?


    Are any rare letters being used in today’s Quordle like Q or Z?


    What do today’s Quordle words start with?

    I, B, O, and F.

    What are the answers for today’s Quordle?

    Are you sure you want to know?

    There’s still time to turn back.

    OK, you asked for it. The answers are:

    1. IDLER 

    2. BERTH

    3. ORBIT

    4. FETCH

  • An essential guide to the overwhelming world of non-dairy milks


    An essential guide to the overwhelming world of non-dairy milks

    Life is full of existentially difficult questions. Here's one of them: Out of all the non-dairy milks, which milk should I use?

    To be honest, that's a super personal Q, and it's not one we can answer on a broad scale. There are so many different milks, after all, and so many different human bodies with different dietary needs. How could an objective "best milk" possibly exist?

    SEE ALSO: Salads are better without the leaves

    What we can do, however, is recommend milks for different scenarios. That way, you can make an informed milk decision the next time you have to choose a side in the Milk Wars. And you will have to choose a side.

    View this post on Instagram
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    Aren't you glad this is something you have to think about now?

    Which milk is best for my coffee?

    You have a couple of options here. A lot of people like the thickness and subtle flavor of coconut milk in their coffee, some prefer oat milk(opens in a new tab), and still others are soy milk devotees. Some, though, say soy milk gives coffee an unpleasant aftertaste.

    You will have to choose a side in the Milk Wars.

    The main thing here is to make sure the milk doesn't curdle into tiny chunks in your drink. Soy milk and almond milk, for example, can curdle in coffee(opens in a new tab) if its temperature is significantly different than the coffee itself. (This is more likely to happen if the coffee is highly acidic.) To prevent this problem with hot coffee, allow it to cool a little before pouring in the milk. You could also opt for a less acidic brew.

    Which milk is best as a baking substitute?

    After an intensive pumpkin pie experiment, Food52 declared(opens in a new tab) soy milk the best substitute for baking. "The finished product was nice," they wrote. "Great color and browned top." Another wild card option: banana milk, according to Food and Wine(opens in a new tab).

    Have a recipe that calls for heavy cream? Full-fat coconut cream, baby.

    Which milk is best for a creamy soup?

    Coconut milk. Here is a good creamy soup(opens in a new tab). Coconut milk is also great for smoothies, lending them a pleasant tropical vibe.

    Which milk is best for cereal?

    Shoveling cereal into your mouth is a highly personal experience, so this is a hard one. A lot of people are into the light taste of almond milk with their morning bowl of Cheerios, while others prefer coconut milk -- usually with fruitier, sugary cereals, since it's quite thin. If you're feeling adventurous, some hedonists out there(opens in a new tab) have even advocated pairing Cocoa Krispies with chocolate soy milk. Now that's an idea.

    View this post on Instagram
    (opens in a new tab)

    Which milk is best to drink on its own?

    Almond milk is delicious, especially if you make your own and add cinnamon. (It's easier than it sounds(opens in a new tab)!) Other popular choices, according to a Reddit perusal(opens in a new tab): cashew milk (of course, don't drink it if you don't like the taste of cashews) and oat milk.

    If you're looking for a vegan milk to taste like cow's milk, though, you're probably going to be disappointed. Let the milks be themselves! That's all they can do.

  • Dating show promotes openly sexist dude, and like, read the damn room

    Dating show promotes openly sexist dude, and like, read the damn room


    If you lived under a rock during 2017 (can I come too?), it was a year in which various sexual harassers were outed for being awful.

    It was a year that the conversation around harassment, power and abuse started to be taken seriously, but it seems like Australian television station Channel Nine -- who had its own problems recently(opens in a new tab), missed the memo.

    SEE ALSO: Actresses plan to wear black at Golden Globes to protest sexual misconduct in Hollywood

    In a commercial for its upcoming season of Married at First Sight, it featured Dean, a man looking for a woman who will listen to him, and openly wants to be the "man in charge" in the household.

    "It's hard to say without sounding sexist or something, but I like a girl that is a girl, and she's girly and that she knows I'm the man in charge," he said.

    "Also I want someone that listens to me, and I wanna be the alpha male and she needs to respect me as the man."

    For those unfamiliar with the show, Married at First Sight matches up couples with the aid of experts, who commit when they first meet.


    Not that it matters anymore, because there were plenty of messages angry about the commercial.

    Do better. Just do better.