Meredith Vieira once found a bag of sex toys in Matt Lauers office and confronted him on air
2023-05-22 12:45:51author：sh419
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Meredith Vieira once found a bag of sex toys in Matt Lauers office and confronted him on air
Now that he's been fired by NBC News amid multiple allegations of sexual harassment, Matt Lauer's past work has come under intense scrutiny -- and some of it will leave you feeling decidedly icky in light of the new accusations.
From a hypocritical Bill O'Reilly interview to a tone-deaf sexual harassment sketch on Today, Lauer seems to have spent years throwing stones from a very fragile glass house. The latest video to resurface comes courtesy of The Meredith Vieira Show, in which Lauer's former co-host (who was apparently also the subject of Lauer's inappropriate remarks, judging by a video from TMZ(opens in a new tab) in which Lauer encourages Vieira to "keep bending over" in front of him) quizzed him on why she once found a bag of sex toys in Lauer's office closet
“Can we explain what happened?” Lauer says, while co-host Savannah Guthrie laughs awkwardly beside him. “You were there. We had a guest on the show. She was a... what was she? A sex therapist."
"I don't remember that," Vieira counters.
"And so when she left-- I think you did the segment, actually," Lauer adds.
"I didn't, I didn't," Vieira argues.
Lauer continues, "And when she left, she gave each of us a shopping bag of stuff..."
"I didn't get a bag of stuff," Vieira insists.
It's all played for laughs, but the moment takes on an uncomfortable new dimension following the allegation that Lauer "gave a colleague a sex toy as a present. It included an explicit note about how he wanted to use it on her, which left her mortified," according to a Variety(opens in a new tab) report.
The internet never forgets.
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The internet made sooooo many jokes about Trumps fake news trophy tweet
Perhaps the biggest bummer about Twitter's new 280-character limit is that it allows the current president to compose tweets like this one:
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On Monday morning, President Donald Trump hit Twitter to suggest a "FAKE NEWS TROPHY" for whichever news network he deems produces "the most dishonest, corrupt" coverage of his presidency. As usual, Fox was excluded from Trump's media rage.
In the same tweet, Trump referred to himself as the American people's favorite president with a parenthetical "(me)." According the most recent Gallup(opens in a new tab) poll, the self-described "favorite" president's approval rating currently sits at 37 percent.
Naturally the internet jumped all over Trump's first tweet of the day. Some even have a solid suggestion for Trump's proposed "FAKE NEWS TROPHY":
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Project Entrepreneur expands accelerator program to help more women entrepreneurs build scalable companies
Since launching in 2015, Project Entrepreneur(opens in a new tab) — a media partner of Mashable — has trained more than 1,200 aspiring entrepreneurs representing 131 U.S. cities. Its annual venture competition has yielded an alumnae community of nearly 400 women entrepreneurs, with the 2016 finalists reporting $10+ million raised in seed and pre-seed funding.
Now entering its third year, Project Entrepreneur (PE) — an initiative from the Rent the Runway Foundation and UBS Elevating Entrepreneurs(opens in a new tab) — is expanding the number of winning companies in the accelerator from three to five.
“We are so excited to continue working with UBS in providing women with the tools they need to create high-growth companies, and see their visions through,” said Jennifer Hyman, CEO and Co-Founder of Rent the Runway. “Past participants in our accelerator continue to inspire us with their incredible progress, including closing rounds of funding. We are eager to provide the next class of talented female founders with the tools and support they need to scale, and to see the disruption their companies bring to various different industries.”
PE's annual venture competition is open to female founders who are in the prototype or beta stages, have their first paying customers, or are generating revenue. The top 200 applicants will be invited to attend the PE Intensive in New York City on April 13-14, 2018, a free two-day event comprised of in-depth workshops, expert speakers and a pitch competition. The five winning founders will each receive a $10,000 grant, a spot in the five-week accelerator program at Rent the Runway’s New York office and mentorship and engagement with UBS executives, entrepreneurs, and investors. Founders interested can apply online(opens in a new tab); but don’t wait, as the deadline is December 1st!
Last year’s winning companies included: New York-based LOLI Beauty(opens in a new tab), the first BIY (Blend It Yourself) clean and green beauty brand; Scottsdale-based The Touchpoint Solution(opens in a new tab), a neuroscience wearable that alleviates stress by altering the body’s stress response in as little as 30 seconds; and San Francisco-based Lace & Liberty(opens in a new tab), merging direct-to-consumer convenience with luxury bespoke bridalwear. Two additional New York-based companies were hosted by The Knot/XO Group Co-Founder Carley Roney and designer Rebecca Minkoff: Repeat Roses(opens in a new tab), a sustainable floral waste removal business that gives back to people and planet, and Reboundwear(opens in a new tab), athleisure wear with a purpose, respectively.
“The caliber of companies we're seeing through Project Entrepreneur further validates what we've always believed — that there is an incredible population of talented female founders in cities and towns across the country,” said Lori Feinsilver, UBS Head of Community Affairs & Corporate Responsibility, Americas. “Being able to reach these women and provide them with access to resources and support that will help fuel their growth gives us confidence that we can indeed level the playing field.”
Visit projectentrepreneur.org/apply(opens in a new tab) for details on Project Entrepreneur’s Venture Competition, and check out PE’s resources including #theTools podcast(opens in a new tab), blog posts(opens in a new tab) and educational modules(opens in a new tab).
This article is part of a media partnership between Mashable & Project Entrepreneur. For more information, visit here(opens in a new tab).
Two people trying to run the same government agency makes for a really awkward first day
Revolutionaries, take note -- if you're planning a government takeover, please use high quality breakfast pastries.
That's a lesson that White House Budget Director Mick Mulvaney(opens in a new tab) apparently hadn't learned when he stepped into the Consumer Finance Protection Bureau today. He was there to take on an additional job as the agency's director.
The only problem? The agency's acting director, Leandra English, refused to cede it to him, in the workplace drama of the decade.
As a Trump appointee, Mulvaney wasn't exactly welcomed at at the job, so he brought crappy Dunkin' Donuts as a way to "ease" himself into an agency he's expected to destroy.
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On Friday, Director Richard Cordray(opens in a new tab) stepped down, leaving English to serve as acting director. Last night, English filed a lawsuit claiming that she is the "rightful acting director" of the agency. English has asked the court to impose a temporary restraining order to prevent Trump from appointing anyone, arguing that she is entitled to her position under the Dodd Frank Wall Street Reform Law(opens in a new tab).
Mulvaney brings donuts to his first day at CFPB. Couldn’t hurt. pic.twitter.com/BpKJ2nd1L0(opens in a new tab)
— Katie Rogers (@katierogers) November 27, 2017(opens in a new tab)
None of that stopped Mulvaney. On Monday, the Budget Director stepped into the CFPB, ready to take on his new job.
This is how English responded in an email sent to 1,600 staff.
"I hope that everyone had a great Thanksgiving. With Thanksgiving in mind, I wanted to take a moment to share my gratitude to all of you for your service,” English said(opens in a new tab), signing the note with her title, "Acting Director."
And that, my friends, is what we call a death drop.
Via Giphy(opens in a new tab)
Here's how Mulvaney responded:
“Please disregard any instructions you receive from Ms. English in her presumed capacity as acting director.” Mulvaney said(opens in a new tab). “I apologize for this being the very first thing you hear from me. However, under the circumstances I suppose it is necessary. If you’re at 1700 G Street today, please stop by the fourth floor to say hello and grab a doughnut.”
If Mulvaney, a budget hawk, thinks he can sway members of an agency whose jobs he's poised to eliminate with Dunkin' Donuts, he's out of his mind. The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau(opens in a new tab) was explicitly designed to protect consumers from banks and credit card companies. Mulvaney once famously called the agency "sad" and "sick." He is not, as members of the agency likely know, their friend.
And dude, if you're going to try and win your staff over with breakfast pastries, at least go for something slightly more delicious than Dunkin'. Some suggestions:
Krispy Kreme
Entenmann's Coffee Cake
Savory bacon cheddar scones
Literally anything else
The case is currently being decided. In the meantime, here's Twitter's majority opinion on the issue:
We actually have two people claiming to be the CFPB acting director and this is *not* a romantic comedy where they fall in love at the end. pic.twitter.com/R80kPJdQrN(opens in a new tab)
— Matt Fuller (@MEPFuller) November 27, 2017(opens in a new tab)
Donuts were a big hit at cfpb. Like they always are. @MickMulvaneyOMB(opens in a new tab) pic.twitter.com/zgX5Y1Rlt3(opens in a new tab)
— john czwartacki (@CZ) November 27, 2017(opens in a new tab)
If there's a Trump strategy here, it's to sideline her as a CFPB messenger by starting round 10,000 of the stupid "Pocahontas" story
— Dave Weigel (@daveweigel) November 27, 2017(opens in a new tab)
what if i went to the cfpb with bagels and was like "i am your new king, follow me"
— Matt Levine (@matt_levine) November 27, 2017(opens in a new tab)
we should find out who is the real acting director by threatening to cut the CFPB in half
— Alexandra Petri (@petridishes) November 27, 2017(opens in a new tab)
Chef José Andrés, the man who single-handedly served 3 million meals to Puerto Rico post Hurricane Maria, had the best response of them all.
@CFPB(opens in a new tab) team members! i know is confusing. To have two bosses? Please bring a proof you work there to any of our DC restaurants and first drink is on us...
— José Andrés (@chefjoseandres) November 27, 2017(opens in a new tab)
Woman posts video of crocodile attack, and it is heartstopping
Welp, this is a close call.
A tourist was bitten on the leg by a crocodile on at Cape Tribulation in Queensland, Australia on Monday night, while standing on a creek bank close to the waters edge.
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A Queensland Department of Environment and Heritage Protection (EHP) spokesperson said in a statement the crocodile was estimated to be 2 to 2.5 metres (78 to 98 inches) long.
A video posted on the Facebook page of Ally Bullifent shows the crocodile attack, which comes out of nowhere. It'll be sure to give you a shock.
The EHP said it would carry out a site assessment of the area on Tuesday, and will possibly target the crocodile "for removal" as it has displayed dangerous behaviour in a designated area. This means it'll be moved to a crocodile farm or a zoo, according to the Cairns Post(opens in a new tab).
For authorities, it also serves as a reminder about staying safe in areas where crocodiles might be around. Earlier this year, an 18-year-old boy was attacked by a crocodile while reportedly trying to impress a girl.
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Town crier who announced Prince Harrys engagement to Meghan Markle is 100% fake
England, with its quirky traditions and old-fashioned customs, is a land of endless fascination for outsiders, nominally for people from the former colony of the U.S.
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So it's understandable why a town crier -- with his elaborate, red and gold robed dress and tricorn hat -- attracted people's attention on social media when he was depicted in an ABC News video as he announces the news of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's engagement outside of Buckingham Palace:
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"Oyez, oyez, oyz!" He yells in the video. "Buckingham Palace is proud to announce the engagement of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. God save the Queen!"
It can't get any more British than this.
Business Insider posted a similar video, calling him "the Royal Town Crier":
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However, it turns out the eccentric guy is not officially appointed by the Queen, nor is he a real town crier. His real name is Tony Appleton, from Romford, east London, and he's been making royal announcements for years, bell and scroll on hand.
In 2013, he fooled prominent American broadcasters(opens in a new tab) including Rachel Maddow and Anderson Cooper when he announced the birth of Prince William and Kate's firstborn, Prince George, outside St. Mary's Hospital.
"I'm a royalist. I love the royal family," he told (opens in a new tab)AP(opens in a new tab), while acknowledging he had no official royal role. "I came unannounced."
Still, many Americans fell for it:
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Cheeky theory is the best explanation yet for the Prince Harry and Meghan Markle engagement
News of the engagement between Prince Harry and Meghan Markle caught Americans' imagination just like any other story about the British royals -- births, anniversaries, celebrations, jubilees, and so on.
SEE ALSO:
'Town crier' who announced Prince Harry's engagement to Meghan Markle is 100% fake
But what if behind the jolly facade of a couple in love wishing to declare their commitment before God and the nation there's an actual conspiracy to reclaim a former colony, lost in a never-forgotten, embittered war?
That's the joke Greg Pollowitz, editor at Twitchy.com, dug up to explain the royal announcement:
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Meghan Markle is American, so the future offspring will be Americans! Da-daam! Boom! Mic drop!
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It was just a cheeky tweet, but it went absolutely viral and people just loved it:
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There was the obvious Brexit reference:
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As well as the Trump one:
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Some conjectured a crossover between two incredibly popular TV shows:
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But in general the tweets reacting to the joke were just hilarious:
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While someone took it a bit too seriously:
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Dog, sick and tired of waiting in car, slams his paw on the horn
It will be a long time before America finally grants dogs the right to drive.
Until then, dogs will have to do what they can to keep themselves entertained. Take this pup, who was recently left alone in a parking lot in " target="_blank">Nanaimo, British Columbia(opens in a new tab), and slammed its paw on the car horn out of exhaustion. And then it kept it there. For a long time.
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The video was captured by Joris Wiggers and posted on Facebook by Elizabeth Herman(opens in a new tab). It's not entirely clear that the dog knows how to get his paw off the horn, but no problem, doggo, that's what driver's permits are for.
Arbys bought Buffalo Wild Wings, so heres what a combined menu would look like
On Tuesday it was announced that Arby's owner Roark Capital will acquire(opens in a new tab) Buffalo Wild Wings for $2.4 billion (or roughly(opens in a new tab) 162,271,805 orders of BWW House Samplers).
Per Reuters(opens in a new tab), though the wings restaurant will become property of Arby's, it'll still operate on its own.
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We think this is a huge mistake.
Consider the disturbing menu possibilities a marriage of Arby's meats and BWW wings might afford us.
Our suggestions for this menu full of abominations below:
A half-pound Beef 'N Cheddar sandwich dipped in Bourbon Honey Mustard sauce, rolled in Desert Heat seasoning and deep fried
An entire smoked brisket coated in Blazin' hot sauce and served whole on a bed of deep-fried Cheddar Cheese Curds
Potato cakes drenched in Wild sauce
Beer-battered roast beef tacos
An Arby's House Sampler, featuring 12 classic Roast Beef sandwiches stacked in a pyramid
A Crispy Chicken Farmhouse Salad dressed with Hot BBQ sauce
Boneless Wings coated in Cheddar Cheese sauce
A Corned Beef 'N Cheese Slider cut up into pieces and sprinkled over Buffalo Mac & Cheese
A Cheese Curd Bacon Burger with a Pizza Slider speared on top
Every Arby's slider stacked in a tower and adhered to each another with smears of Parmesan Garlic sauce
The pastry shell of an Apple Turnover, filled with the B-Dubs Blender shake flavor of your choice
A large Ultimate Chocolate Shake blended with a slice of Chocolate Fudge Cake and drizzled over a plate of Dessert Nachos
Cheesecake Bites
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Cops share photo of a driver that went a little too hard with their Christmas tree
Look, if you want to cut down a massive Christmas tree, and stick it up inside your two-story living room, go for it. But maybe don't endanger anyone's life in the process.
Police in Massachusetts put up a post on their Facebook page on Friday, reminding people to please transport their Christmas trees safely. They really shouldn't have to do this, but here we are.
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"One of our officer's stopped this vehicle on Route 20 today," the cops said on Facebook(opens in a new tab), posting a photo of what appears to be a Prius topped with a Christmas tree.
The tree is so large, it completely obstructs the view of the side and rear windows. It's not clearly visible, but we're also guessing that it wasn't tied down very well.
While the tree transport was outrageous to say the least, most people in the comments were upset that the police decided to call the tree a "holiday tree" instead of a Christmas tree.
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2017 was the year Congresswoman Maxine Waters was elected president of All in With Chris Hayes.
From the moment she declared that the director of the FBI had "no legitimacy" and then death dropped in front of a gaggle of shellshocked reporters, 79-year-old Auntie Maxine has had our blood loyalty. Every floor she walked on in 2017, whether it was in the Capitol or at the MTV Movie Awards, became her stage and ultimately, a property in her empire.
More so than any other "deplorable" president with a Ziploc bag of fleas for a brain, Maxine Waters was the de facto leader of the free world/MSNBC in 2017.
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Congresswoman Waters gave us so many viral gifts in 2017. Here are just a few of them.
1. The time she accused James Comey of having no credibility and then just walked on out
2. When she revealed that she was "never going to go" to Trump's Inauguration because, "I don't honor him, I don't respect him and I don't want to be involved with him."
3. The time she was asked what she would do once she was done impeaching Trump, and she replied: "Impeach Pence."
4. When she delivered MTV's first ever "Best Fight Against the System" award, did a plié, and got a standing ovation.
5. When she tweeted that it was time for our "racist throwback" Attorney General to go back "to the plantation"
Sessions doesn't remember what he said, when he said it, & where he was when he said it. Don't blame him. Time to go back to the plantation.
— Maxine Waters (@RepMaxineWaters) November 3, 2017(opens in a new tab)
6. Her "Bye, Felicia" moment
Tillerson's plans are backfiring. Russia sanctions still in place, State is in shambles, & he discovered his boss is a moron. Bye Felicia!
— Maxine Waters (@RepMaxineWaters) October 6, 2017(opens in a new tab)
7. When she busted out this stunner of jean jacket, rose pants ensemble at the Tax March
Credit: tom williams/CQ-Roll Call,Inc.
8. When she started railing against Trump and told a room full of supporters, "We've got to stop his ass"
9. The moment she just said it:
Maxine Waters on Trump: "I think he's the most deplorable person I've ever met in my life" https://t.co/25utCvqtAh(opens in a new tab) pic.twitter.com/pLADTiE9l1(opens in a new tab)
— The Hill (@thehill) August 4, 2017(opens in a new tab)
10. And the tweet that did it too:
Trump asked what Blacks had to lose. It was apparently healthcare, housing, college admission, & freedom after Sessions locks everyone up
— Maxine Waters (@RepMaxineWaters) August 2, 2017(opens in a new tab)
11. That day Bill O'Reilly tried to humiliate Auntie Maxine and just ... lol, sorry bro. She can't be intimidated.
12. When she "reclaimed her time" from Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin
13. So the internet did too
14. And the Women's March made "Reclaiming my time" the theme of a whole convention
Credit: rachel woolf/The Washington Post/Getty Images
15. When Congresswoman Maxine Waters finally passed on her torch to the generation that needs it the most.
These kids dressed up as Maxine Waters for Halloween to #ReclaimTheirCandy(opens in a new tab)https://t.co/BbSP1haf5c(opens in a new tab) pic.twitter.com/8jI1fHSw6W(opens in a new tab)
— Mashable (@mashable) October 31, 2017(opens in a new tab)
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It's what we've all been waiting for: We're finally discovering more information about Grimace, the purple puppet man and friend of Ronald McDonald.
It's all thanks to the manager of a McDonald's franchise in Windsor, Canada. During an interview about his being named Outstanding Manager of the Year, Brian Bates told CBC News(Opens in a new tab) that Grimace is actually…a taste bud?
"He is an enormous taste bud, but a taste bud nonetheless," Bates said, adding that Grimace's purpose is to show that McDonald's food tastes good.
It's one of those rumors that comes up every now and then and demands a debunk. In 2012, McDonald's tweeted(Opens in a new tab) matter-of-factly that "Grimace is the embodiment of a milkshake, though others still insist he's a taste bud." But in 2014, the company appeared to be less sure, tweeting that Grimace lore dictates(Opens in a new tab) that he is either "the embodiment of a milkshake" or "a taste bud."
What does it mean to be the embodiment of a milkshake? And why would the embodiment of a milkshake be purple?
Grimace started out as a four-armed villain(Opens in a new tab) who was intent on stealing milkshakes and started each sentence with the word "duh." It would be an interesting choice for the company to make him steal milkshakes if he himself was also a milkshake — unless it was a "saving my kind" storyline, kind of like the dogs in '90s children's movies who let out all the other dogs from the pound. Or perhaps we should just consider him the Hamburgler of milkshakes.
He was later changed into a good guy, because, according to a QSR Magazine column from former McDonald's creative officer Roy Bergold(Opens in a new tab), "he scared kids." So Grimace stopped stealing, lost two of his arms, and became one of the best friends of Ronald McDonald.
Importantly, though, Grimace doesn't look like a milkshake. As HuffPost pointed out(Opens in a new tab), he does actually look a bit like he was inspired by taste buds and papillae, the tiny raised bumps on your tongue that contain taste buds, though.
So what's Grimace? Maybe it depends what you want him to be.
Elon Musk might be the only person who still loves Twitter
Congratulations to Elon Musk, who apparently is having a much better time online than the rest of us plebeians.
The Tesla CEO took to—you guessed it—Twitter Thursday to share his love of, drumroll please, Twitter.
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How did he do so? By stating his personal truth in less than 280 characters. "I love Twitter," was all he had to say.
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What about Facebook, Instagram, or Tumblr? What about WhatsApp and Peach and Snapchat? The people need to know your thoughts, Musk!
Regardless of how he feels about all those other social media networks, the Musk-Twitter love story, which maybe isn't as good as Twilight, gets better.
"You should buy it then," a journalist tweeted at Musk, who replied in the most Musk-way possible.
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His simple tweet hinting at interest in buying Twitter immediately got people's minds whirring.
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We'll leave the answer to how much it is up to @jack(opens in a new tab) but regardless of the price point, we're pretty sure it'll be in his budget.
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Tinder for readers: A new social app is based on books you love
Can similar reading tastes lead to a healthy romance? Klerb(Opens in a new tab), a new social app based on literary preferences, seems to think so.
The app has already been called "Tinder for bookworms,"(Opens in a new tab) despite being in early beta. According to the site, Klerb is "a free meetup app for readers," with IRL activities being offered for like-minded readers "based on the similarity of their bookshelf."
It basically sounds like a book club, with the app doing the work for the reader: the algorithm finds people who have similar reading tastes or have read the same book recently, then creates themed events around these interests. They encourage groups to then turn these events into a club, if things go well during in-app chats.
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Though the premise sounds like a dating app, the developer behind the app, Abe Winter, told The Guardian that Klerb is "not a hook-up app or a dating app of any kind." But he says that he is trying to bring the Tinder model to reading, creating aa "a geo-radius social tool" for people with "academic interests."
So the app isn't trying to be the next Bumble or Tinder but there could be scope for romance. The tagline does suggest this: "Use Klerb to find compatible people, groups, and events in your radius."
There appears to be 1,605 existing members already, and Winter says that there is a waiting list and plans to roll out the app once he gauges there is enough interest.
For real book-worms, this may just be the most romantic meet-cute of all. In the Klerb.
Sorry, Donald Trump, but your tweet about the London embassy is completely inaccurate
If you're gonna talk sh*t about your predecessor, at least ensure you've got your facts straight.
That's one thing that Donald Trump did not do when he fired off a tweet about the reason behind the cancellation of his London trip. What a surprise!
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Pete Souza had the perfect reaction to Trump's 'like, really smart' tweets
Trump said he cancelled his trip to the UK's capital because he's "not a big fan of the Obama administration" for selling "perhaps the best located and finest embassy in London for 'peanuts.'"
Uuum, hate to break it to ya, Donald, but you can't pin this one on the Obama administration.
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It was, in fact, the Bush administration who signed(opens in a new tab) the deal in 2008—a month before Obama's election—to relocate the U.S. Embassy to the Nine Elms location in Wandsworth, London.
“This has been a long and careful process," Ambassador Robert Tuttle said(opens in a new tab) in a statement at the time. "We looked at all our options, including renovation of our current building on Grosvenor Square. In the end, we realized that the goal of a modern, secure and environmentally sustainable Embassy could best be met by constructing a new facility."
Many Brits, awaking to the factually inaccurate tweet this morning, were keen to set the record straight.
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Sorry, Trump. You just got fact-checked.
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The latest Chinese social media trend is eating ice
ASMR videos are all the rage, and now time things are getting chilly.
This ice-eating ASMR trend is popping up all over Chinese social media. It's exactly as it sounds: people are posting videos of themselves eating ice. Really beautiful ice.
SEE ALSO:
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In the usual ASMR fashion, the focus is on the soothing crunch that comes from the sound created when biting into ice. Sometimes the ice is brightly colored and cutely shaped to make the whole thing more aesthetically pleasing.
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Buzzfeed (opens in a new tab)notes that this trend started on Chinese video-sharing app Kwai, where the hashtag #吃冰 (which is pronounced "chi bing" and means "eat ice") had thousands of posts.
A lot of the ice eating Instagram posts were originally Kwai videos. These posts are racking up thousands of views and likes.
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The ice isn't limited to simple frozen water. Some videos feature frozen milk treats and frozen chocolate.
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Much like soap-cutting and kinetic sand-crumbling and floral foam-crushing, this ice-eating trend is both quite odd and incredibly soothing.
Take a moment to let these ice-eating videos lull you into a state of... chill.
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For your entertainment, a long list of the funniest yearbook quotes
It's that time of year again, time for seniors to dust off their thesauruses and come up with the most clever yearbook quotes they can.
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Seniors from far and wide spend hours thinking of a yearbook quote good enough for people to remember them for years to come.
Some have succeeded. Some have not.
In the spirit of graduation, let's take a journey through a variety of past yearbook quotes, and look at some of the most hilarious and memorable ones that seniors had to offer.
I just wish I was savvy enough to think of these when I was graduating high school.
The ones who can't wait to leave:
I bet the parents loved these.
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The intellectuals:
Really makes you think.
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The ones destined for greatness:
These teens will do just fine.
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The comedians:
Everyone loves a good joke.
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The guy who knows what students really want:
He's truly an icon.
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May your quotes be as hilarious as these teens this graduation season.
Pandemic dating often feels like a period drama courtship
Pandemic dating is still hell, but my lifelong affection for period piece romances has at least prepared me to yearn.
At this point the United States is coming up on a year of bumbling through the COVID-19 pandemic, and our need for basic human connection has only gotten stronger as time has worn on. When it comes to having sex, preaching abstinence, whether to a classroom of horny teenagers or an entire country going through a devastating pandemic, simply does not work.
There are, of course, ways to safely pursue love (and then get railed) while still mitigating the risk of spreading the coronavirus. Some health officials have put out their own guidelines to COVID-safe sex — New York City infamously suggested wearing masks and using glory holes — but I have turned to the lessons of historical romance to guide me through.
In the midst of this pandemic, talking to potential love interests for weeks on end without meeting, let alone hooking up, has felt very much like a drawn-out Victorian courtship.
My formative years were shaped by the confines of a deeply religious upbringing that frowned upon any expression of sexuality, so yearning feels like second nature to me. Not allowed to actually experience, much less pursue, romance, I immersed myself in consuming media about romance. I spent my adolescence obsessed with it, pining less for a specific person than for the seemingly magical connection I'd seen on screen.
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I had a special affinity for period romances — anything with elaborate costumes was enough to make me swoon. As both a reader and writer of fanfiction, I had familiarized myself with romance tropes years before I ever experienced any shred of romance myself, from enemies to lovers to friends stuck together to the classic fake relationship that ends up sparking something real.
Much like the yearning of my adolescence, it's less for a specific human being than literally any human being.
The yearning took a backseat when I went to college and had the independence to actually experience relationships, whether serious romances or casual one night stands. Real world dating, as I learned, rarely involves a Pride and Prejudice-like pursuit. But the last year or so marks the longest I've been single in my adult life, and consequently, the most I've yearned for another human being in my adult life. Much like the yearning of my adolescence, it's less for a specific human being than literally any human being.
Although some parts of the United States are in better shape than others, most health officials advise against(Opens in a new tab) gathering with people outside your household. With limited opportunity to safely meet up for dates, I've spent the last year reacquainting myself with my first love: period piece romances.
During the first few weeks of the pandemic when wearing loungewear every day was still a novelty and not a given, I started Outlander, a steamy series about accidentally time traveling to 18th-century Scotland. I have watched the 2005 version of Pride and Prejudice too many times to count, and its 2016 sword-wielding parody Pride and Prejudice and Zombies with alarming frequency. When Netflix dropped Bridgerton this winter, I devoured it in a few days.
Bridgerton follows Simon, an aloof duke determined to maintain his bachelor status, and Daphne, a naive debutante determined to marry by the end of high society's season, as they fake a courtship and (spoiler alert!) inevitably fall in love. The show gained popularity for its stunning costumes and steamy sex scenes that paired softcore porn with string quartet covers of modern pop songs.
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It would be irresponsible to highlight Bridgerton without also mentioning its odd dismissal of racial politics(Opens in a new tab) and its inclusion of a highly controversial rape scene(Opens in a new tab). Despite the show's problematic aspects, I burned through the show so quickly because its premise felt like an anachronistic reflection of my experience dating during the pandemic.
Like the romanticized courtship rituals of the Regency Era in which Bridgerton takes place, pandemic dating comes with its own set of rules. All of my early dates have taken place outdoors in public, and because of masks, are inherently chaste. You can have however many matches and suitors as your want, but any level of physical intimacy comes with the expectation of exclusivity. Nobody has asked for my hand in marriage, but being in my twenties and used to casual flings born from apps and dance floors, asking my immediate household for permission to bring someone over feels pretty close.
The slow burn does put a damper on the more exciting parts of dating, but it's a worthy trade for safety. Michele Shocked, a drag performer based in Ojai, met their partner on Grindr, which is notorious for users seeking casual sex over long term relationships. They texted in paragraphs for weeks before discussing anything vaguely sexual, which Michele Shocked noted was rare for Grindr matches, and despite the intimacy of their conversations and meeting up for socially distanced dates, have yet to actually touch.
"It feels Pride and Prejudice-y because it's been very regimented, each interaction and escalation in feeling has had special attention paid to it"
"It feels Pride and Prejudice-y because it's been very regimented, each interaction and escalation in feeling has had special attention paid to it," they told Mashable through Twitter DM. "It has been missing that white hot insatiable feeling some people associate with romance but there is so much non-verbal communication that feels quintessential to romance nowadays that we don't have access to in most capabilities."
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That's not to say that COVID-safe dating shouldn't be sex-positive. My love life over the past year has ironically mirrored my strict Christian upbringing, though the absence of casual sex is less rooted in shame and more in trying not to end up in an ICU bed. The sex I have had during the pandemic, even if it wasn't with some Mr. Darcy-type soulmate, has still required some emotional investment because of how high the stakes are.
Before embarking on anything under the mask, both parties place an immense amount of trust in each other to not be infected. No matter how casual a relationship may be, there's an implicit commitment and care for the other that I haven't experienced in pre-COVID flings that weren't serious enough to label. The callous nature of casual hookups doesn't work when you're sleeping with someone vulnerable enough to not only be emotionally invested, but also put their physical health at risk.
For some couples whose love story began during the pandemic, it involves going all in before even being able to explore the relationship in person. Neil, an English professor, met Molly through a "playful exchange" on Twitter in last October and they've been talking constantly since. (They preferred to only be quoted using their first names out of privacy concerns.) Neil lives in Canada, and Molly lives in the United States. With travel restrictions(Opens in a new tab) in place for the foreseeable future, the couple has yet to spend time together in person, and likely won't be able to for months. That hasn't stopped them from pursuing a serious relationship, which Neil does admit sounds "crazy."
"I'm not nervous that we won't have chemistry. It's possible, I guess? But there are so many things that I'm looking forward to and they far outweigh the things that might make me nervous."
"I'm not nervous that we won't have chemistry. It's possible, I guess? But there are so many things that I'm looking forward to and they far outweigh the things that might make me nervous," Neil explained via Twitter DM.
"We agreed pretty early on that we wouldn't waste one another's time, that if we're going to explore this, it would be serious and one of us would have to [be] willing to move," he continued.
A pandemic courtship skips the steps that modern dating tends to wallow in, and dives headfirst into the ones that involve difficult conversations. When sex comes with the risk of spreading COVID, potential lovers can trap each other in an eternal talking stage(Opens in a new tab) without meeting, the purgatory between expressing interest and putting a label on it.
The second option is to be direct about exclusivity before even taking off the mask, but that also requires charging forth with some level of trust in each other. You can bypass this entirely by hooking up within your lockdown circle, like 41 percent of adults surveyed(Opens in a new tab) by Match.com, but I personally can attest to the fact that this situation also requires having excruciatingly honest discussion about intent and expectations.
My colleague Rachel Thompson referred to pandemic dating as "turbo relationships" because of the intensity that COVID restrictions add to otherwise new couples. It's a natural progression considering that both parties have to agree to be all in before actually having sex. To agree to exclusivity before even kissing is a daunting but necessary part of safe COVID-era dating. It sometimes does feel regressive to adhere to these rules, but remembering that it's for public safety and not because of archaic societal expectations that strip women of their autonomy, helps.
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In spite of the patriarchal views that shaped old-timey courtships, the great romance novels make the wait somewhat sweeter. Erika Lee, a reporter in Boise, met her boyfriend at a wedding in Australia only a few weeks before the United States began mandating stay-at-home orders. In the last year, they've managed long distance with FaceTime dates, online games, and even taking weekend "trips" together by exploring destinations on Google Maps. The yearning is slightly more bearable, Lee said, when she frames it as her own personal fairy tale.
"Those types of stories romanticized it for me. It made me feel like waiting is actually a noble act, and that makes it more worth it in the end," Lee DM'd Mashable on Twitter. "I think without these types of narratives, like you know the ones with people writing letters to their husbands at war, or [to] their long distance lovers, it definitely would be less fairy tale-like. But the idealism is fun."
My reputation as a virtuous woman worthy of a land-owning husband isn't at risk, but my lung function probably is.
It's unlikely that I will end up in anything as extreme as an accidental marriage because of a salacious kiss, like Daphne and Simon do in Bridgerton. Still, physical contact during a pandemic, whether premeditated or in the heat of the moment, does have consequences. My reputation as a virtuous woman worthy of a land-owning husband isn't at risk, but my lung function probably is. Until COVID is less of a threat, I'm happy to keep yearning through these courtships.
Read more from Love App-tually:
Swiping for friends: Why managing others' dating apps is so damn fun
Stop creating cutesy buzzwords for asshole online dating behavior
Just a Jim looking for his Pam: Fictional couples dominate dating apps
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The artist behind the Awards for Good Boys Instagram isnt afraid to piss off her trolls
The most online among us have heard the adage. "Don't feed the trolls," people say. When someone attacks you online, don't respond. Don't engage. That's what they want.
This is not Shelby Lorman's approach. The writer and artist, who runs the delightful Instagram account Awards for Good Boys(opens in a new tab) and has a book forthcoming from Penguin Random House, frequently reposts and riffs on DMs from people -- usually white men -- who feel compelled to weigh in on her work.
Lorman, 24, started the Awards for Good Boys account in 2017. Since then, she's been posting regular cartoons skewering the "good boy"(opens in a new tab): the ostensibly "progressive" dude whose shitty treatment of actual people doesn't dovetail with his performative feminist politics.
Considering the immense pile of filth that makes up so much of the internet, it's not surprising that Lorman's DMs are full of harassment. Her work, after all, critiques the men who do the absolute minimum, the self-proclaimed "woke" dudes who are all talk at best. As one might expect, the "good boys" aren't the best at fielding criticism -- and their entitled commentary has fueled much of Lorman's recent work.
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"A lot of people will be like, 'I used to like your stuff, but this comic about emotional labor just paints women as nitpicky cunts, and you're doing a disservice to everyone,'" Lorman says. "Like, 'why are you so angry? Why are you so bitter?' A lot of that happens around stuff that's nuanced."
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She points to a post about catcalling(opens in a new tab) as an example. "People [in her DMs] were like, 'You’re advocating for a world in which no one gives compliments!' No, I'm just saying street harassment is not cool," she says. "People are ready to skip the nuance and make some humongous claim about my work."
In most cases, skipping the nuance involves re-centering blame -- for a disagreement in the comments section or on society's ills -- on anyone but men. "[People] blame women for choosing the bad men," she explains, "or our anger, or the culture right now. The immediate urge to blame anyone but the obvious population I'm talking about is really intense."
So Lorman turns the tables on her trolls. Instead of ignoring them, she posts their DMs on her own Instagram account. Sometimes, readers will even send her their own text conversations, with messages so clearly written by "good boy" types that she'll post them alongside her own illustrations: a hilarious IRL example alongside the concept.
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Humor is a big part of Lorman's approach to creativity in a hostile online space. "I think that in some cases, humor can be really effective in pointing out the irony of someone’s argument … or why it was absurd," Lorman says. "I'm never trying to shoot down what someone is saying for the content of it. It's about the way someone chooses to deliver it."
But Lorman also sees the grain of truth within the "don't feed the trolls" argument, particularly when someone is coming from a place of bad faith. "It's a mixed bag, because humor is really essential for me to be able to cope with what people are saying," she says. "But I also know it feeds their narrative."
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She's also aware of how difficult it is to communicate effectively on Instagram, particularly about an issue as huge and fraught as harassment. For example, Lorman says that while her trolls aren't 100 percent men, she doesn't post as much about the women who are angry about her work. It boils down to caution: On a platform where engagement is brief, she doesn't want to dilute her message. "I have such a small window to let people understand how fucked up our heteronormative relationships are," she says. "I'm wary to be like, 'Oh, no. Women do this shit, too.'"
That's partially why Lorman is so excited about her book. She'll have space to explore her experience online with far more nuance -- and without the constant back-and-forth inherent to social media.
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"For some people, Instagram debates get confusing," she says. "Someone told me recently that I was just creating drama, and that's not what they came to my page to see. So I'm very excited to have the space to explain why perpetual harassment is not drama, and why calling it out is also not drama. It's that I don't want to hear people's feedback -- I genuinely do -- but it is nice to think about a book space where [critics] will have to decide to deliberately contact me. They can't just shoot off a comment into the void."
"Perpetual harassment is not drama, and calling it out is also not drama."
Lorman realizes that, despite the harassment she faces, she's in a pretty good spot compared to some of her peers. "I don’t know any woman who has any modicum of visibility online who isn’t constantly dealing with either people being like 'this sucks' or violent harassment," she says. She's also aware that she has the space and security to discuss her experiences in a way that others do not.
"I have a friend who is an activist and educator, and if she posts something about harassment, [the comments] get violent," she says. "She's a black woman. And this stuff just perpetuates violence offline."
Lorman does think there is hope for the internet. What she's less sure about is what all of us are less sure about -- how to actually make it better.
"The entire space of the internet is so complicated and fucked up," she says. "We have to do a lot of thinking about what that means and how to fix it. I certainly don't know."
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In the meantime, though, she has a deep community of fans who enjoy and are comforted by her work. The support is sometimes so affecting that it brings her to tears: "[The community] is really intuitive around harassment itself," she says. "I'll get messages like, 'Hey, you’re getting so much hate today, and I just want to tell you what this page and this work means to me' and I just sit in my DMs and cry."
"There’s so much support [from] people who are like, 'Yeah, this has happened to me a hundred million times,'" she adds. "It's really validating to meet so many people, even in the space of a comments section, who can relate. I wish there could be an Awards for Good Boys convention."
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Rogue Burning Man 2021: Should you go? Probably not.
Officially, Burning Man 2021 takes place in an alternate reality. The VR version of Black Rock City, which I reviewed last year, is returning with several neat upgrades — including museums dedicated to the event's nondenominational Temple and its eponymous Man, along with live musical performances via virtual hologram.
But that's not the hot topic of conversation among veterans of the 35-year old counterculture festival, which normally takes place the week before Labor Day. Frustrated by the second year in which COVID-19 canceled an actual physical gathering, thousands of Burners are taking matters into their own hands — by camping in their regular spot in the Black Rock desert of northern Nevada. Even a giant pall of smoke from California's ongoing mega-fires does not appear to be dissuading them.
Call it Rogue Burning Man. Some veterans estimate as many as 20,000 people could show up next week. (Black Rock City's population in 2019: 78,850.) A private Facebook group called Black Rock Plan B has more than 13,300 members, and its admins are constructing an unofficial map(Opens in a new tab). It overlays the planned coordinates of 500-plus unofficial Burning Man camps on the traditional Black Rock City road grid — normally constructed a month in advance by Burning Man's official Department of Public Works(Opens in a new tab), now no more than a vague idea.
"We're not dissuading people from going," says Marian Goodell, longtime CEO of the nonprofit Burning Man organization, who plans on visiting Rogue Burning Man herself. "But I don't think you should try to go if you're not an experienced Burner. And if you last went in 1996, when we respected the dangers of the desert and communal effort was key, this is your year."
In the years after the event transferred from San Francisco's Baker Beach to the Black Rock desert in 1990, it was a rough-edged gathering with few rules. In 1996, three people were seriously injured when a drunk driver ran over a tent at night. Co-founders John Law and Larry Harvey disagreed about whether it should be held again. Harvey took control and returned in 1997 with the city grid, a 5 mph speed limit, and the beginnings of an army of volunteers.
"I don't think you should try to go if you're not an experienced Burner. And if you last went in 1996, when we respected the dangers of the desert and communal effort was key, this is your year."
As Black Rock City became larger and safer, Burning Man's anarchic early years have acquired a kind of mythic status among some attendees. Be careful what you wish for, Goodell warns: "I was there in '96, it was scary as fuck," she says. "People were driving 45 mph" — a speed at which cars can kick up large dust clouds on this ancient lake bed, not to mention hit things, especially at night. "I wouldn't camp out on the edge of the playa, you'll need to be near people," says Goodell. "Camping in groups helps keep you visible."
Not that much of anything may be visible anyway. At time of writing, the air quality on the playa is at an unhealthy-to-all value of 160 on the Air Quality Index, and has risen as high as 350, a hazardous level, in the last week, thanks largely to the out-of-control Caldor fire(Opens in a new tab) near Lake Tahoe. Wildfire smoke can make you more prone to a COVID infection(Opens in a new tab), and the nearest hospitals, about 100 miles away in Reno, have seen a threefold increase in COVID cases this month(Opens in a new tab).
The entrance to Burning Man's location on August 18. Mountains are normally visible in the distance.Credit: washoe county sherrif
Throw in all the other potential hazards of Black Rock life — hundred-mile-an-hour dust storms, sudden downpours that can trap vehicles in mountains of mud — and you have plenty of avenues for potential disaster.
Which is just the way that some adrenaline junkie Burners like it (a frequent motto at the event is "safety third"). But many event volunteers are nervous. One says he has dissuaded 13 people from attending by asking what they would do if a campmate broke a leg at 3 a.m. Drive them to Reno while keeping them sedated with tequila and a joint?
Goodell says she isn't worried about hospitalizations for injury or dehydration so much as outsiders with evil intent infiltrating the event, or possible food poisoning. (In prior years, camps that served food to the public at Burning Man were required to get a permit.)
The Bureau of Land Management can't stop people camping at the site; it is public land, after all. But the BLM has introduced temporary restrictions(Opens in a new tab): no fires beyond elevated camp fires, no fireworks, no lasers, no gray water(Opens in a new tab), no peeing on the playa, and perhaps most importantly to would-be attendees, no porta-potties. A good portion of the Plan B Facebook group is devoted to discussing various makeshift personal toilet options, for those who aren't bringing an RV with enough capacity.
Thanks to such unappealing specifics, the number of attendees appears to be whittling down by the day. Anecdotally, out of my 41 friends who are members of the Plan B group, I could only confirm that two are planning on attending. The tone of the group appears a lot more sober than it did in July, even if there are still a few genuine posts from newbies asking about whiteouts and WiFi. (Given the prankster nature of the event, there's also a lot of trolling along those lines.)
Rogue Burning Man may yet be a success. The air quality may drop to safe levels just in time. Either way, there will be art, there will be dancing to EDM, there will be playa weddings. Goodell's hope is that Burners trained by years of radical self-reliance will be able to improvise their own infrastructure, such as agreeing to leave 20 feet between neighboring camps in case emergency vehicles need to get through.
But if you're nervous about even trying, you absolutely do not need to go just to battle FOMO. After all, there's a fascinating VR Burning Man taking place in the next universe over.
An 18-inch pizza has more pizza than two 12-inch pizzas, and people are losing it
Are you ready for a mindblowing revelation?
If you're splitting pizza with friends, you'll technically get more bang for your buck by splitting one 18-inch pizza instead of ordering two 12-inch pizzas.
It sounds counterintuitive, but Fermat's Library did the math: An 18-inch pizza has 254 square inches of "pizza," while two 12-inch pizzas only have about 226 square inches.
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People were understandably confused — isn't two more than one?
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Others found flaws in the math: If you like crust, this logic doesn't make sense. If you're getting a stuffed crust, then definitely go for two pizzas.
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But if you just want to get ahead of the Great Pizza Conspiracy and have more cheesy goodness, then just opt for one large pie. Your wallet (and stomach) will thank you.
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