Dua Lipa graced us with new rules to get through the holiday season
2023-05-22 12:49:21author:sh419
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Dua Lipa graced us with new rules to get through the holiday season
Dua Lipa just solved all your December problems with some brand new rules. She just might have rescued your bank account.
A fan (@idealising(opens in a new tab)) asked the British singer for advice to get through December without going bankrupt. The "Scared to be Lonely" singer provided the fan with three simple rules to help in the most festive (and expensive) month of the year.
Move over Santa, Dua Lipa is gracing us with early gifts - whether we're naughty or nice.
SEE ALSO:
13 unique gifts that give back this holiday season
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The "New Rules" singer had three basic things to keep in mind: 1. Throw away your calendar. 2. Break up with him so it's one less gift. 3. Marry the grinch.
It's a holiday hit in the making. Just imagine it, New Rules: Holiday Edition.
Fans praised the performer for her rules of wisdom and ask her to bless us with her own holiday album.
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While we wait for the new Christmas song of the 21st century, we'll just settle with these three rules to get through the next month.
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This bizarre YouTuber has the entire internet wondering where she came from
Website of this article:https://www.dointy.com/index.php?a=index&aid=75322&c=View&m=home
The internet made sooooo many jokes about Trumps fake news trophy tweet
Perhaps the biggest bummer about Twitter's new 280-character limit is that it allows the current president to compose tweets like this one:
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On Monday morning, President Donald Trump hit Twitter to suggest a "FAKE NEWS TROPHY" for whichever news network he deems produces "the most dishonest, corrupt" coverage of his presidency. As usual, Fox was excluded from Trump's media rage.
In the same tweet, Trump referred to himself as the American people's favorite president with a parenthetical "(me)." According the most recent Gallup(opens in a new tab) poll, the self-described "favorite" president's approval rating currently sits at 37 percent.
Naturally the internet jumped all over Trump's first tweet of the day. Some even have a solid suggestion for Trump's proposed "FAKE NEWS TROPHY":
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This jacket is perfect for your friend who always b*tches about the winter
Project Entrepreneur expands accelerator program to help more women entrepreneurs build scalable companies
Since launching in 2015, Project Entrepreneur(opens in a new tab) — a media partner of Mashable — has trained more than 1,200 aspiring entrepreneurs representing 131 U.S. cities. Its annual venture competition has yielded an alumnae community of nearly 400 women entrepreneurs, with the 2016 finalists reporting $10+ million raised in seed and pre-seed funding.
Now entering its third year, Project Entrepreneur (PE) — an initiative from the Rent the Runway Foundation and UBS Elevating Entrepreneurs(opens in a new tab) — is expanding the number of winning companies in the accelerator from three to five.
“We are so excited to continue working with UBS in providing women with the tools they need to create high-growth companies, and see their visions through,” said Jennifer Hyman, CEO and Co-Founder of Rent the Runway. “Past participants in our accelerator continue to inspire us with their incredible progress, including closing rounds of funding. We are eager to provide the next class of talented female founders with the tools and support they need to scale, and to see the disruption their companies bring to various different industries.”
PE's annual venture competition is open to female founders who are in the prototype or beta stages, have their first paying customers, or are generating revenue. The top 200 applicants will be invited to attend the PE Intensive in New York City on April 13-14, 2018, a free two-day event comprised of in-depth workshops, expert speakers and a pitch competition. The five winning founders will each receive a $10,000 grant, a spot in the five-week accelerator program at Rent the Runway’s New York office and mentorship and engagement with UBS executives, entrepreneurs, and investors. Founders interested can apply online(opens in a new tab); but don’t wait, as the deadline is December 1st!
Last year’s winning companies included: New York-based LOLI Beauty(opens in a new tab), the first BIY (Blend It Yourself) clean and green beauty brand; Scottsdale-based The Touchpoint Solution(opens in a new tab), a neuroscience wearable that alleviates stress by altering the body’s stress response in as little as 30 seconds; and San Francisco-based Lace & Liberty(opens in a new tab), merging direct-to-consumer convenience with luxury bespoke bridalwear. Two additional New York-based companies were hosted by The Knot/XO Group Co-Founder Carley Roney and designer Rebecca Minkoff: Repeat Roses(opens in a new tab), a sustainable floral waste removal business that gives back to people and planet, and Reboundwear(opens in a new tab), athleisure wear with a purpose, respectively.
“The caliber of companies we're seeing through Project Entrepreneur further validates what we've always believed — that there is an incredible population of talented female founders in cities and towns across the country,” said Lori Feinsilver, UBS Head of Community Affairs & Corporate Responsibility, Americas. “Being able to reach these women and provide them with access to resources and support that will help fuel their growth gives us confidence that we can indeed level the playing field.”
Visit projectentrepreneur.org/apply(opens in a new tab) for details on Project Entrepreneur’s Venture Competition, and check out PE’s resources including #theTools podcast(opens in a new tab), blog posts(opens in a new tab) and educational modules(opens in a new tab).
This article is part of a media partnership between Mashable & Project Entrepreneur. For more information, visit here(opens in a new tab).
Two people trying to run the same government agency makes for a really awkward first day
Revolutionaries, take note -- if you're planning a government takeover, please use high quality breakfast pastries.
That's a lesson that White House Budget Director Mick Mulvaney(opens in a new tab) apparently hadn't learned when he stepped into the Consumer Finance Protection Bureau today. He was there to take on an additional job as the agency's director.
The only problem? The agency's acting director, Leandra English, refused to cede it to him, in the workplace drama of the decade.
As a Trump appointee, Mulvaney wasn't exactly welcomed at at the job, so he brought crappy Dunkin' Donuts as a way to "ease" himself into an agency he's expected to destroy.
SEE ALSO:
Sorry, Cards Against Humanity can't stop Trump's wall
On Friday, Director Richard Cordray(opens in a new tab) stepped down, leaving English to serve as acting director. Last night, English filed a lawsuit claiming that she is the "rightful acting director" of the agency. English has asked the court to impose a temporary restraining order to prevent Trump from appointing anyone, arguing that she is entitled to her position under the Dodd Frank Wall Street Reform Law(opens in a new tab).
Mulvaney brings donuts to his first day at CFPB. Couldn’t hurt. pic.twitter.com/BpKJ2nd1L0(opens in a new tab)
— Katie Rogers (@katierogers) November 27, 2017(opens in a new tab)
None of that stopped Mulvaney. On Monday, the Budget Director stepped into the CFPB, ready to take on his new job.
This is how English responded in an email sent to 1,600 staff.
"I hope that everyone had a great Thanksgiving. With Thanksgiving in mind, I wanted to take a moment to share my gratitude to all of you for your service,” English said(opens in a new tab), signing the note with her title, "Acting Director."
And that, my friends, is what we call a death drop.
Via Giphy(opens in a new tab)
Here's how Mulvaney responded:
“Please disregard any instructions you receive from Ms. English in her presumed capacity as acting director.” Mulvaney said(opens in a new tab). “I apologize for this being the very first thing you hear from me. However, under the circumstances I suppose it is necessary. If you’re at 1700 G Street today, please stop by the fourth floor to say hello and grab a doughnut.”
If Mulvaney, a budget hawk, thinks he can sway members of an agency whose jobs he's poised to eliminate with Dunkin' Donuts, he's out of his mind. The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau(opens in a new tab) was explicitly designed to protect consumers from banks and credit card companies. Mulvaney once famously called the agency "sad" and "sick." He is not, as members of the agency likely know, their friend.
And dude, if you're going to try and win your staff over with breakfast pastries, at least go for something slightly more delicious than Dunkin'. Some suggestions:
Krispy Kreme
Entenmann's Coffee Cake
Savory bacon cheddar scones
Literally anything else
The case is currently being decided. In the meantime, here's Twitter's majority opinion on the issue:
We actually have two people claiming to be the CFPB acting director and this is *not* a romantic comedy where they fall in love at the end. pic.twitter.com/R80kPJdQrN(opens in a new tab)
— Matt Fuller (@MEPFuller) November 27, 2017(opens in a new tab)
Donuts were a big hit at cfpb. Like they always are. @MickMulvaneyOMB(opens in a new tab) pic.twitter.com/zgX5Y1Rlt3(opens in a new tab)
— john czwartacki (@CZ) November 27, 2017(opens in a new tab)
If there's a Trump strategy here, it's to sideline her as a CFPB messenger by starting round 10,000 of the stupid "Pocahontas" story
— Dave Weigel (@daveweigel) November 27, 2017(opens in a new tab)
what if i went to the cfpb with bagels and was like "i am your new king, follow me"
— Matt Levine (@matt_levine) November 27, 2017(opens in a new tab)
we should find out who is the real acting director by threatening to cut the CFPB in half
— Alexandra Petri (@petridishes) November 27, 2017(opens in a new tab)
Chef José Andrés, the man who single-handedly served 3 million meals to Puerto Rico post Hurricane Maria, had the best response of them all.
@CFPB(opens in a new tab) team members! i know is confusing. To have two bosses? Please bring a proof you work there to any of our DC restaurants and first drink is on us...
— José Andrés (@chefjoseandres) November 27, 2017(opens in a new tab)
Woman posts video of crocodile attack, and it is heartstopping
Welp, this is a close call.
A tourist was bitten on the leg by a crocodile on at Cape Tribulation in Queensland, Australia on Monday night, while standing on a creek bank close to the waters edge.
SEE ALSO:
Maybe don't get a photo with your friends inside a crocodile trap
A Queensland Department of Environment and Heritage Protection (EHP) spokesperson said in a statement the crocodile was estimated to be 2 to 2.5 metres (78 to 98 inches) long.
A video posted on the Facebook page of Ally Bullifent shows the crocodile attack, which comes out of nowhere. It'll be sure to give you a shock.
The EHP said it would carry out a site assessment of the area on Tuesday, and will possibly target the crocodile "for removal" as it has displayed dangerous behaviour in a designated area. This means it'll be moved to a crocodile farm or a zoo, according to the Cairns Post(opens in a new tab).
For authorities, it also serves as a reminder about staying safe in areas where crocodiles might be around. Earlier this year, an 18-year-old boy was attacked by a crocodile while reportedly trying to impress a girl.
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Town crier who announced Prince Harrys engagement to Meghan Markle is 100% fake
England, with its quirky traditions and old-fashioned customs, is a land of endless fascination for outsiders, nominally for people from the former colony of the U.S.
SEE ALSO:
The most adorable revelations from Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's first interview
So it's understandable why a town crier -- with his elaborate, red and gold robed dress and tricorn hat -- attracted people's attention on social media when he was depicted in an ABC News video as he announces the news of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's engagement outside of Buckingham Palace:
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"Oyez, oyez, oyz!" He yells in the video. "Buckingham Palace is proud to announce the engagement of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. God save the Queen!"
It can't get any more British than this.
Business Insider posted a similar video, calling him "the Royal Town Crier":
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However, it turns out the eccentric guy is not officially appointed by the Queen, nor is he a real town crier. His real name is Tony Appleton, from Romford, east London, and he's been making royal announcements for years, bell and scroll on hand.
In 2013, he fooled prominent American broadcasters(opens in a new tab) including Rachel Maddow and Anderson Cooper when he announced the birth of Prince William and Kate's firstborn, Prince George, outside St. Mary's Hospital.
"I'm a royalist. I love the royal family," he told (opens in a new tab)AP(opens in a new tab), while acknowledging he had no official royal role. "I came unannounced."
Still, many Americans fell for it:
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Prince Harry and 'Suits' actress Meghan Markle are officially engaged
Cheeky theory is the best explanation yet for the Prince Harry and Meghan Markle engagement
News of the engagement between Prince Harry and Meghan Markle caught Americans' imagination just like any other story about the British royals -- births, anniversaries, celebrations, jubilees, and so on.
SEE ALSO:
'Town crier' who announced Prince Harry's engagement to Meghan Markle is 100% fake
But what if behind the jolly facade of a couple in love wishing to declare their commitment before God and the nation there's an actual conspiracy to reclaim a former colony, lost in a never-forgotten, embittered war?
That's the joke Greg Pollowitz, editor at Twitchy.com, dug up to explain the royal announcement:
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Meghan Markle is American, so the future offspring will be Americans! Da-daam! Boom! Mic drop!
via GIPHY(opens in a new tab)
It was just a cheeky tweet, but it went absolutely viral and people just loved it:
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There was the obvious Brexit reference:
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As well as the Trump one:
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Some conjectured a crossover between two incredibly popular TV shows:
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But in general the tweets reacting to the joke were just hilarious:
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While someone took it a bit too seriously:
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Dog, sick and tired of waiting in car, slams his paw on the horn
It will be a long time before America finally grants dogs the right to drive.
Until then, dogs will have to do what they can to keep themselves entertained. Take this pup, who was recently left alone in a parking lot in " target="_blank">Nanaimo, British Columbia(opens in a new tab), and slammed its paw on the car horn out of exhaustion. And then it kept it there. For a long time.
SEE ALSO:
Calm your dogs down with this fabulous doggy leotard
The video was captured by Joris Wiggers and posted on Facebook by Elizabeth Herman(opens in a new tab). It's not entirely clear that the dog knows how to get his paw off the horn, but no problem, doggo, that's what driver's permits are for.
Arbys bought Buffalo Wild Wings, so heres what a combined menu would look like
On Tuesday it was announced that Arby's owner Roark Capital will acquire(opens in a new tab) Buffalo Wild Wings for $2.4 billion (or roughly(opens in a new tab) 162,271,805 orders of BWW House Samplers).
Per Reuters(opens in a new tab), though the wings restaurant will become property of Arby's, it'll still operate on its own.
SEE ALSO:
This edible Alien Facehugger chicken will haunt your dreams
We think this is a huge mistake.
Consider the disturbing menu possibilities a marriage of Arby's meats and BWW wings might afford us.
Our suggestions for this menu full of abominations below:
A half-pound Beef 'N Cheddar sandwich dipped in Bourbon Honey Mustard sauce, rolled in Desert Heat seasoning and deep fried
An entire smoked brisket coated in Blazin' hot sauce and served whole on a bed of deep-fried Cheddar Cheese Curds
Potato cakes drenched in Wild sauce
Beer-battered roast beef tacos
An Arby's House Sampler, featuring 12 classic Roast Beef sandwiches stacked in a pyramid
A Crispy Chicken Farmhouse Salad dressed with Hot BBQ sauce
Boneless Wings coated in Cheddar Cheese sauce
A Corned Beef 'N Cheese Slider cut up into pieces and sprinkled over Buffalo Mac & Cheese
A Cheese Curd Bacon Burger with a Pizza Slider speared on top
Every Arby's slider stacked in a tower and adhered to each another with smears of Parmesan Garlic sauce
The pastry shell of an Apple Turnover, filled with the B-Dubs Blender shake flavor of your choice
A large Ultimate Chocolate Shake blended with a slice of Chocolate Fudge Cake and drizzled over a plate of Dessert Nachos
Cheesecake Bites
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Cops share photo of a driver that went a little too hard with their Christmas tree
Look, if you want to cut down a massive Christmas tree, and stick it up inside your two-story living room, go for it. But maybe don't endanger anyone's life in the process.
Police in Massachusetts put up a post on their Facebook page on Friday, reminding people to please transport their Christmas trees safely. They really shouldn't have to do this, but here we are.
SEE ALSO:
Upside down Christmas trees are trending, and the internet is outraged
"One of our officer's stopped this vehicle on Route 20 today," the cops said on Facebook(opens in a new tab), posting a photo of what appears to be a Prius topped with a Christmas tree.
The tree is so large, it completely obstructs the view of the side and rear windows. It's not clearly visible, but we're also guessing that it wasn't tied down very well.
While the tree transport was outrageous to say the least, most people in the comments were upset that the police decided to call the tree a "holiday tree" instead of a Christmas tree.
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2017 was the year Congresswoman Maxine Waters was elected president of All in With Chris Hayes.
From the moment she declared that the director of the FBI had "no legitimacy" and then death dropped in front of a gaggle of shellshocked reporters, 79-year-old Auntie Maxine has had our blood loyalty. Every floor she walked on in 2017, whether it was in the Capitol or at the MTV Movie Awards, became her stage and ultimately, a property in her empire.
More so than any other "deplorable" president with a Ziploc bag of fleas for a brain, Maxine Waters was the de facto leader of the free world/MSNBC in 2017.
SEE ALSO:
Interview: Maxine Waters thinks millennials can change politics for everyone (yes, everyone)
Congresswoman Waters gave us so many viral gifts in 2017. Here are just a few of them.
1. The time she accused James Comey of having no credibility and then just walked on out
2. When she revealed that she was "never going to go" to Trump's Inauguration because, "I don't honor him, I don't respect him and I don't want to be involved with him."
3. The time she was asked what she would do once she was done impeaching Trump, and she replied: "Impeach Pence."
4. When she delivered MTV's first ever "Best Fight Against the System" award, did a plié, and got a standing ovation.
5. When she tweeted that it was time for our "racist throwback" Attorney General to go back "to the plantation"
Sessions doesn't remember what he said, when he said it, & where he was when he said it. Don't blame him. Time to go back to the plantation.
— Maxine Waters (@RepMaxineWaters) November 3, 2017(opens in a new tab)
6. Her "Bye, Felicia" moment
Tillerson's plans are backfiring. Russia sanctions still in place, State is in shambles, & he discovered his boss is a moron. Bye Felicia!
— Maxine Waters (@RepMaxineWaters) October 6, 2017(opens in a new tab)
7. When she busted out this stunner of jean jacket, rose pants ensemble at the Tax March
Credit: tom williams/CQ-Roll Call,Inc.
8. When she started railing against Trump and told a room full of supporters, "We've got to stop his ass"
9. The moment she just said it:
Maxine Waters on Trump: "I think he's the most deplorable person I've ever met in my life" https://t.co/25utCvqtAh(opens in a new tab) pic.twitter.com/pLADTiE9l1(opens in a new tab)
— The Hill (@thehill) August 4, 2017(opens in a new tab)
10. And the tweet that did it too:
Trump asked what Blacks had to lose. It was apparently healthcare, housing, college admission, & freedom after Sessions locks everyone up
— Maxine Waters (@RepMaxineWaters) August 2, 2017(opens in a new tab)
11. That day Bill O'Reilly tried to humiliate Auntie Maxine and just ... lol, sorry bro. She can't be intimidated.
12. When she "reclaimed her time" from Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin
13. So the internet did too
14. And the Women's March made "Reclaiming my time" the theme of a whole convention
Credit: rachel woolf/The Washington Post/Getty Images
15. When Congresswoman Maxine Waters finally passed on her torch to the generation that needs it the most.
These kids dressed up as Maxine Waters for Halloween to #ReclaimTheirCandy(opens in a new tab)https://t.co/BbSP1haf5c(opens in a new tab) pic.twitter.com/8jI1fHSw6W(opens in a new tab)
— Mashable (@mashable) October 31, 2017(opens in a new tab)
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America is built on cheating — and the fight against it
It’s Cheat Week at Mashable. Join us as we take a look at how liars, scammers, grifters, and everyday people take advantage of life's little loopholes in order to get ahead.
Unpack one of America's seminal founding stories, and what you discover is a scam and a double-cross worthy of a heist movie.
Most of us think we know about Dutch traders paying Native Americans a pittance for Manhattan when they first arrived in 1626. The price was 60 guilders, or about $950 today(Opens in a new tab). Not the glass beads and trinkets of legend -- and the locals understood property rights(Opens in a new tab) more than we tend to think -- but certainly not what the resource-filled peninsula was worth, then or now.
And yet historical analysis suggests the Dutch were in fact scammed themselves(Opens in a new tab). Instead of making a deal with the Weckquaesgeek tribe that actually lived on Manhattan -- and would go to war with the Dutch over the territory years later -- the naive newcomers probably handed over their guilders to the Canarsee tribe, unaware they were based in what is now Brooklyn.
Which would make this the first case in history, but far from the last, of tourists coming to New York and getting ripped off.
An early illustration of the Dutch purchase of Manhattan. But who was cheating whom?Credit: Bettmann Archive
Every nation has its scammers and schemers, its cheats, criminal liars, and con artists. But nowhere are they more central to the historical narrative than America, even before one of them was elected president. What really distinguishes the United States, however, is that it has also long been ground zero for the fight against cheating.
There's always a large, stubborn, noisy group using its First Amendment rights to spotlight flaws in the nation of laws. Nowhere do campaigners have a better track record of passing legislation and bending moral arcs towards justice(Opens in a new tab).
Which is just as well, because this country's moral arc has been out of whack for centuries. First the U.S. celebrated cheating in the form of treaty-breaking, land-bilking pioneers (and Andrew Jackson(Opens in a new tab), Donald Trump's presidential idol, was the biggest treaty-cheater of all). Then it began to romanticize the outlaws -- literally, people who cheat -- in a so-called "Wild West" that actually wasn't that violent (except when it came to violence against Native Americans(Opens in a new tab)). Then it elevated the "robber baron" (again, the clue is in the name(Opens in a new tab)) tycoons of the Gilded Age. We still memorialize the names of strong-arming, union-busting cheats -- names like Astor, Carnegie, Rockefeller, Stanford.
Then came our 20th and 21st century fascination with organized crime and various kinds of mafia. As soon as Hollywood's talking picture industry arrived, it became obsessed with gangsters. Even now, in endlessly rewatching stories about Scarface and Tony Soprano, the culture is paying its respects to the Chicago OG, Al Capone, who was only caught because he cheated on his taxes(Opens in a new tab).
America can't help itself; it loves an auspicious cheat. Not just big-time thugs like Capone or serial fraudsters like P. T. Barnum (whose story was whitewashed in the Hugh Jackman movie(Opens in a new tab)), or credit-stealing inventors(Opens in a new tab) like Thomas Edison, but the enterprising shyster in the street too.
Find an angle, meet a mark, make a fast buck by dubious but novel means, and you pass into legend. You've probably spoken the words "if you believe that, I've got a bridge to sell you." That phrase memorializes George Parker, the man who "sold" the Brooklyn Bridge to gullible new arrivals -- not just once or twice, but as often as twice a week, for years(Opens in a new tab). The ghosts of the Canarsee tribe must have looked on and smiled.
The more publicly the cheater sells their soul, the more we remember them. Take sports -- designed to be the opposite of cheating, a haven of fair play. Yet there hardly seems to be an American sport where the most widely-known names are not those of certifiable cheaters. Baseball has its steroid squad, led by A-Rod(Opens in a new tab), plus enough famous cheaters for a top 50 list(Opens in a new tab). Biking has Lance Armstrong, who also pressured teammates into cheating(Opens in a new tab). The NFL has Bill "Spygate(Opens in a new tab)" Belichick and Tom "Deflategate(Opens in a new tab)" Brady. Think of figure skating and you think of Tonya Harding. (Her victim, Nancy Kerrigan, didn't get the movie named after her(Opens in a new tab)). The Boston Marathon has the late Rosie Ruiz(Opens in a new tab). Even little league -- little league! -- had its nationally-known cheat, Danny Almonte(Opens in a new tab), a 14-year-old who passed for 12.
A lot of American cheating goes unnoticed because it has simply been normalized. NBA and NCAA games, it has often been said, are long parades(Opens in a new tab) of ingrained micro-cheating(Opens in a new tab). And speaking of college, the recent admissions scandal stood out as one of the more prominent examples of that American tradition of paying to play(Opens in a new tab). The backlash managed to bypass the institutionalized cheating known as legacies -- a largely hidden leg-up on college entry based entirely on your family name. A third of 2019 Harvard freshmen are legacies(Opens in a new tab).
None of these scandals compare, of course, to the monstrous systemic cheats that were baked into America's own rules of play at the start. The odious cheat code in the Constitution that defined every African-American in chains as 3/5ths of a person(Opens in a new tab), purely so that slaveholders could get more representation in the new republic. It helped ensure(Opens in a new tab) 10 of the first 12 presidents were slaveholders. The Electoral College was also instituted for the benefit of slave states(Opens in a new tab); it has now cheated, in the eyes of many, five popular vote winners(Opens in a new tab) -- most more liberal than their opponents -- out of the presidency.
The cheating of democracy has lately taken two virulent forms: voter suppression(Opens in a new tab) and gerrymandering. The latter turns legislatures into funhouse mirrors of the people's will. In 2018, Democrats in the Wisconsin State Assembly got 53 percent of the votes but just 36 percent of the seats(Opens in a new tab). Locked-in majorities like that can make the fight against cheating seem an impossible struggle.
But that doesn't mean Team Fairness ever stops fighting.
'America tries, man'
In the wake of the El Paso and Dayton shootings in early August, Trevor Noah did one of the unscripted Daily Show bits for which he is becoming justly famous. What began as a reasoned response to a poorly-timed Neil DeGrasse Tyson tweet turned into a passionate summary of Noah's adopted homeland's ethos -- one that has attracted immigrants like Noah (and me) for generations.
"That for me has always been what makes America -- America tries, man," Noah said. "It's not about being perfect, it's about trying to be more perfect."
Indeed, the history of this more perfect union can be defined as the attempt to overcome one cheat or another. After a half-century of abolitionism(Opens in a new tab) and a bloody Civil War, the 13th, 14th and 15th Amendments(Opens in a new tab) tried to fix the flaws of America's original sin. Southern white elites regrouped and instituted Jim Crow laws(Opens in a new tab), which cheated African-Americans out of their newfound freedoms. Another century of violence and struggle, and the Civil Rights and Voting Rights Acts(Opens in a new tab) took another two giant leaps towards fairness. Then the Supreme Court gutted Voting Rights in 2013(Opens in a new tab), voter suppression rushed in(Opens in a new tab), and round and round we go.
Round and round, but also onward and upwards. Every campaign for rights leaves its mark in the form of new laws(Opens in a new tab), until America is planted thick with them -- and with the lawyers who give them teeth. Yeah, we deride lawyers as ambulance chasers and opportunists, but they also form a vast network that works, more often than not, to hold the big cheaters accountable. For every Ponzi schemer, there are a dozen faceless prosecutors staying up late at night to bring him down. Charles Ponzi himself got just 14 years in jail for his schemes(Opens in a new tab); his spiritual heir, Bernie Madoff, is serving 150(Opens in a new tab). That's progress.
Where the laws have led, the culture has followed. Americans are, on the whole, a surprisingly honest people. Around 83 percent of us pay the amount of taxes we're supposed to pay, voluntarily and on time(Opens in a new tab), according to the IRS. While no European country has a tax compliance rate higher than 78 percent(Opens in a new tab), the U.S. number has barely moved in decades -- even as the wealthy find ever more elaborate ways to avoid paying their fair share.
The ultimate cheat
Which brings us back to that ultimate example of a tax cheat(Opens in a new tab), Donald Trump. A man who spent his life stiffing contractors(Opens in a new tab), declaring corporate bankruptcy six times to evade debts(Opens in a new tab), creating fraudulent organizations like the Trump Foundation(Opens in a new tab) and Trump University(Opens in a new tab), stoking racist lies(Opens in a new tab), cheating on his wives(Opens in a new tab), and even cheating at golf(Opens in a new tab), was presented in millions of American homes as a judicious businessman. (The selective editing of reality TV(Opens in a new tab) is another kind of cheating.)
He then eked out a tiny and still murky electoral college win(Opens in a new tab), aided by voter suppression, and seemingly proceeded to obstruct an investigation into his election at least 10 times(Opens in a new tab). In the absence of impeachment, Trump's tale would seem to be the ultimate refutation of the old proverb "cheaters never prosper."
But we're only partway through that story. The last time a president thought himself constitutionally incapable of cheating the law, the US passed a bunch of laws known collectively as the Watergate reforms(Opens in a new tab), providing for more ethical and more transparent government. Did the post-Nixon reformers do everything they set out to do? They did not. But they tried. And we will try, after Trump(Opens in a new tab), to close the loopholes in the system his dishonesty revealed.
Around 65 percent of Americans now consider Trump to be dishonest(Opens in a new tab); 64 percent believe his cheating was criminal even before he became president(Opens in a new tab). His approval rating is under water in states worth 419 out of 538 electoral votes(Opens in a new tab). That will surely change after Democrats select a single opponent Trump can lie endlessly about.
But if the opposition can unite around that opponent, if campaigners do not become complacent, we could be on course for the most stinging rebuke to cheating in American history. We may even make it look easy.
And if you believe that, there's an island on the other side of the Brooklyn Bridge I'd like to sell you.
Featured Video For You
This 10-year-old won a science fair by ‘proving’ Tom Brady is a cheater
This comedians dramatic re-enactment of his son falling in nettles should win all the awards
Great art is born of great suffering.
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British comedian William Andrews uploaded a video of himself doing a dramatic slam-poet-style rendition of his 4-year-old son falling into some nettles.
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People were pretty appreciative of this literary and performative gem.
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After the tweet gained steam (with 3,000 retweets at time of writing) Andrews uploaded this to his website(opens in a new tab):
"So that tweet about my boy falling over has run away somewhat - which is nice. I should tell you *he's fine*. His penchant for the dramatic turn of phrase is to be admired i think. I simply cannot fathom from where he has adopted such a style."
So there you have it, inspiration can truly come from anywhere. Even a big patch of stinging nettles.
Joe Bidens first @POTUS tweet is refreshingly boring
President Joe Biden is officially the tweeter-in-chief.
As his inauguration came to an end on Wednesday, Biden dusted off the @POTUS twitter account and fired off his first post as president.
And thank the heavens, his tweet was shockingly cogent and normal compared to the past four years of presidential posts.
"There is no time to waste when it comes to tackling the crises we face," Biden wrote on Twitter shortly after taking office. "That's why today, I am heading to the Oval Office to get right to work delivering bold action and immediate relief for American families."
Biden was officially handed the @POTUS(Opens in a new tab) handle on Wednesday. The Trump administration's archival posts were migrated over to @POTUS45 just like former President Barack Obama's tweets were sent to @POTUS44. Other such accounts, like @WhiteHouse(Opens in a new tab), @VP(Opens in a new tab), @FLOTUS(Opens in a new tab), and @PressSec(Opens in a new tab) were handed over to the Biden administration as well.
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Twitter transfers, of course, wouldn't typically be such a big deal. But former President Donald Trump was the most capital-O Online world leader in history. He lived on Twitter up and until the platform banned him for inciting violence at the U.S. Capitol.
Biden, on the other hand, posted a simple message about tackling the numerous crises the U.S. faces. Boring in the sense that it wasn't an attack on a foe or some kind of unhinged commentary on cable news? Sure. It was definitely nothing like a post from the now-defunct @RealDonaldTrump account. But wow, was it refreshing.
In somewhat of an odd choice, however, Twitter didn't let Biden inherit the followers from the POTUS account despite the fact that Trump got Obama's followers. Instead the followers from @PresElectBiden(Opens in a new tab) were migrated to @POTUS. Biden's digital director wasn't happy about the decision when it was announced.
"Twitter is starting us at zero...but recommended the President of the United States tag other accounts to encourage growth," Rob Flaherty wrote on Twitter.
No matter, Biden's @POTUS account has already racked up 1.4 million followers and counting.
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Not for nothing, Vice President Kamala Harris actually tweeted from her new @VP account before Biden broke his in.
"Ready to serve," the account posted as Biden delivered his inaugural speech.
For one beautiful night, #fartgate actually united all of Twitter
There is so much that divides us. Science has somehow become partisan; truth itself is up for debate; America is split down the middle when it comes to deciding whether or not literally asking a foreign leader to interfere in an election is an impeachable offense.
But there is one thing we can all agree on: Farts are funny.
And on Monday night, Twitter users from every point on the political spectrum were delighted to find themselves engrossed in #fartgate(Opens in a new tab).
During a live cross on MSNBC's Hardball, where host Chris Matthews was discussing the latest impeachment hearing developments with Rep. Eric Swalwell, a Democratic congressman and briefly a presidential candidate who made so little impact on the race that I typed his name as Tim even though I've been watching this video of him for the last 45 minutes.
As Swalwell was mid-sentence, there was a noise.
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That kind of noise is usually followed by someone saying "Excuse me" or "That was the chair" or "Nice, bro" or "Babe, did you buy the wet food again? You know what the vet said."
Yes, it sounded very much like a fart.
The response to the above video was nearly instantaneous. Within an hour #fartgate trended #1 on Twitter, with people at first assuming it was Swalwell, but then pivoting to pointing the (pulled) finger at Matthews.
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The Hardball social media team had a weird night — at first reportedly tweeting, then deleting, the perfect response:
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And then offering an official explanation (and merch) that absolutely nobody was buying:
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Whether Swalwell heard it or dealt it or neither, he barely missed a beat, but there certainly seemed to some like there was a distinct beat.
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A journalist from BuzzFeed, who has no doubt been nominated for several Pulitzers already, slid into Swalwell's DM to ask for comment, and was richly rewarded.
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"It was not me!!!!!" Salwell wrote(Opens in a new tab) back. "And I didn't hear it when I was speaking."
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The camera was off Matthews, so we don't have his reaction — but there are those who are firmly in the Matthews camp.
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Truly, this is the Yanny/Laurel of televised flatulence.
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And of course, there are the party poopers who insisted no cheese was cut at all:
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But in a way, it matters not at all who actually dealt it, or if it was dealt at all. Because the jokes are good either way.
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It is as simple as this: If it's a fart, it's a really great fart. Fat, noisy, satisfying; it sounds like it took a bit of effort, but only enough to make the final product all the more satisfying.
The beauty of #fartgate is in the perfectly bipartisan way the internet leapt and grabbed this moment with both hands. It's something everyone could enjoy in a week, month, year, administration, of division and sniping. It is as pure as it is puerile.
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I mean, what else could get Ben Shapiro and Alyssa Milano on the same page?
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Like the impeachment hearings themselves, we may never uncover the full truth — all we know is there is left, right, and a noisy asshole at the center of it all.
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Love is Blinds live reunion crashed Netflix. The internet reacted.
Netflix's first-ever live reunion did not got to plan. Like, not at all.
Viewers were clearly excited to watch the Love Is Blind live reunion, which was slated to air at 8 p.m. ET on Sunday. It was a fantastic season of the reality TV show, and folks were hyped-up to see a reunion play out live.
What happened to the reunion livestream?
Unfortunately, Netflix's tech wasn't able to deliver. Something went wrong, and the company could not get the reunion to air. The livestream crashed... Well, it never really even got going to be honest.
"To everyone who stayed up late, woke up early, gave up their Sunday afternoon… we are incredibly sorry that the Love is Blind Live Reunion did not turn out as we had planned," Netflix said(opens in a new tab) in a tweet. "We're filming it now and we'll have it on Netflix as soon as humanly possible."
Some folks — like yours truly — stuck it out and were somehow able to watch the reunion on Sunday. But for everyone else the reunion will finally hit the streaming service at 3 p.m. ET on Monday.
But until then, people reacted online exactly how you'd expect. They produced some fantastic memes and jokes.
The internet reactions
There were the typical jokes you might see online — you know, the pile-on where everyone has to chime in.
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But there were also some jokes specific to the show, which, by the way, had a truly wild and dramatic season — even for a show based around the idea of getting engaged to someone you've never seen and only known for a few days.
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The reunion will finally be available to the general public on Monday and we'll likely get even more memes. As someone who was somehow blessed with watching it early, I can say it was a good reunion after the wait.
How to watch the Love Is Blind reunion
According to a tweet from Netflix, the reunion will be available to stream on its platform at 3 p.m. ET on Monday (April 17). "Promise," the streaming service added.
UK government says it will ban the rough sex defence. Heres why that needs to happen.
Content warning: This article contains details of violence against women, sexual violence, and murder.
UPDATE: July 1, 2020, 9:54 a.m. BST The government has now published(Opens in a new tab) a new clause banning the ‘rough sex defence’ in the Domestic Abuse Bill.
On 2 Dec. 2018, Grace Millane's parents David and Gillian sent a message wishing their daughter a Happy 22nd Birthday from the other side of the world. They never received a reply. That absence of response turned into a missing person's report and tragically ended in a murder trial.
Millane, from Essex, UK, had been travelling in New Zealand when she went on a date with a man she met on Tinder. She died on 2 Dec. 2018 by manual strangulation during sex in the man's hotel room in Auckland. Her body was found in a suitcase in a shallow grave in the mountainous Waitākere Ranges a week later.
During the trial, the man, who has not been named for legal reasons, claimed(Opens in a new tab) Millane died accidentally as a result of "rough sex." Her horrific injuries told another story, however. Three medical experts confirmed that Millane's death would have required unrelenting physical pressure and strength for five to 10 minutes. Because this defence was used, Millane's parents were forced to listen to graphic claims about their daughter's private life in court. Her mother cried and held her head in her hands(Opens in a new tab) as details of Millane's sex life and the night of her murder were read out and analysed in court.
This claim made Millane the 59th woman whose murder was labelled a "sex game gone" — a defence that's become increasingly normalised in the killings of women. Jurors later dismissed this claim, and the man was found guilty(Opens in a new tab) of murder and sentenced to at least 17 years in prison.
Now, the UK's justice minister says the government will ban the use of the "rough sex" defence in new domestic abuse legislation. The news comes after a tireless campaign by a group called We Can't Consent To This(Opens in a new tab) (WCCTT), who catalogued the murders of women and girls killed by men who claimed their deaths happened as a result of a "sex game gone wrong" — sometimes referred to as the "50 Shades defence."
Fiona Mackenzie, founder of WCCTT, has catalogued(Opens in a new tab) the murders of 60 UK women who've been killed by men using the words "rough sex" or "sex game gone wrong" as a defence. In the last five years, the rough sex defence was successful in seven of 17 killings which went to trial, resulting in defendants being found not guilty or convicted of manslaughter. The use of this defence is tantamount to saying "she asked for it" and suggests that women consented to their own death — something that's technically legally impossible(Opens in a new tab) under UK law.
As the use of this defence continues in court, the number of deaths by strangulation is also rising(Opens in a new tab). In the past decade, the number of women dying as a result of strangulation during sex has increased(Opens in a new tab) by 90 percent in the UK. Following Grace Millane's death, the campaign to ban the rough sex defence has gathered steam, and popular magazine Grazia joined forces with campaigners to create a petition(Opens in a new tab), which has been signed by 66,000 people. In July 2019, MPs Harriet Harman and Mark Garnier vowed(Opens in a new tab) to take action over the use of "rough sex" defences. This year, the Home Office said it would be looking into the inclusion of "rough sex" laws in the new Domestic Abuse Bill(Opens in a new tab) for England and Wales.
The possibility of legislation coming into force to prevent this defence being used is now looking hopeful. At the Public Bill Committee in parliament, MPs discussed amendments to the Domestic Abuse bill to end rough sex defences, which have gained the cross-party support of over 80 MPs. Earlier this month, Conservative MP Laura Farris brought up the defence during Prime Minister's Questions, stating it was "an ugly dimension that remains unresolved." Johnson responded: "We are committed to ensuring that the law is made clear and that defence is inexcusable."
Alex Chalk MP, a justice minister, told MPs the government will outlaw this defence, and that measures will be set out in the bill's report stage(Opens in a new tab) — the next stage of the legislation being considered, which gives all MPs the chance to discuss and amend it. In two weeks, we'll see the government's amendments on this matter — whether those amendments go far enough to protect women will then become clear.
Chalk also said it was "unconscionable for a defendant to say that the death of a woman — and it is almost invariably a woman — is justified, excusable, or legally defensible, because that woman had engaged in violent and harmful sexual activity, which resulted in her death, simply because she consented." Citing his own experience as a defence and prosecution barrister, he said "your job as a defence advocate is to exploit whatever wiggle room there is in the law – our job here is to close that down."
Jess Phillips MP spoke during the committee of the ordeal families go through when they have to listen to the graphic details of how their loved one was killed when the "rough sex" defence is used. "Bereaved mothers and fathers and brothers and sisters [are] having to listen to the vicious abuse, listen while somebody takes to the stand and says 'she wanted it,' that 'she loved it,'" said Phillips.
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During the discussion, MPs spoke of the killing of Natalie Connolly, a 26-year-old woman from Worcestershire, England, who died(Opens in a new tab) after sustaining serious internal trauma, including vaginal arterial bleeding, and 40 separate injuries. Her partner claimed she had died as a result of consensual "rough sex" and he was convicted of manslaughter, and given a sentence of three years, eight months.
WCCTT founder Fiona Mackenzie said in a statement that the outcome of the committee "gave us real belief that the government may be ready to do this – but they must be bold enough and not take half measures." Following the news, Harriet Harman said it was encouraging to see the government paying attention to the concerns of women's groups. "But the important thing is for them to close the loophole which allows men to get away with murder by using the 'rough sex gone wrong' defence," she said in a statement. "Only a change in the law will do that. We must see that at the Bill’s next stage."
Prior to the committee discussion, Mackenzie told me why this bill is so needed. "In every case the surviving women say they didn't consent, and in the killings the women can't speak for themselves," she said. "But these claims too often work — the men's claim gets a lesser charge, lighter sentence, or no prosecution at all."
"Boris Johnson and his government have promised to end the 'inexcusable' rough sex defence — but we haven't seen proposals from them yet, and they must make change to law and every stage of the criminal justice system," Mackenzie added.
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This is undoubtedly a huge step forward in banning the rough sex defence and the campaigners are hopeful and optimistic about the most recent update. But there remains a note of caution in that optimism. The government's track record with the Domestic Abuse Bill has not been great. This legislation was first introduced to the House of Commons a year ago, and back then it was hailed as a life-saving, landmark bill. But, when parliament was prorogued because of Brexit, the bill was put on hold.
After tireless campaigning from WCCTT, Harriet Harman, and Mark Garnier, it's now over to the government to ensure this legal loophole is closed once and for all, ending the use of this indefensible defence.
In the 2008 stoner staple Pineapple Express, a secret military facility experiments with growing marijuana in the 1930s. A euphoric soldier, high off what the lab calls "Item 9," says he feels like a "slice of butter" and then exclaims, "This is the bee's knees!"
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But when the soldier rants about how much he hates the army, a high-ranking official shuts down the whole experiment and deems cannabis "ILLEGAL!"
Did the federal government ever actually experiment with growing marijuana? As Mashable's new YouTube series Weedwise explains, the answer is yes.
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Dr. Jeff Chen, director of the UCLA Cannabis Research Initiative, confirmed it: The University of Mississippi has been the site of government research into bud for the past 50 years.
"They have the one and only license ever issued by the DEA to grow cannabis for research purposes," Dr. Chen tells Weedwise.
In fact, the National Institute on Drug Abuse pays this university to grow weed, and then distributes it to registered researchers. But don't think that the federal government is putting money into improving cannabis. A majority of funding is dedicated to researching the plant's negative side effects and potential abuse of the drug. And since cannabis is still a Schedule 1 drug, a researcher who wants to work with it can only access the University of Mississippi's supply, even if it's legal in their state or region.
Does the government actually grow weed for its citizens, though? Yes to that, too! At least, they do for a minuscule number of citizens. In 1978, Robert Randall was suffering from glaucoma and sued the U.S. because he wasn't allowed to treat his condition by using cannabis. He won. His use was determined a "medical necessity," and as a result of that case, the government created the Compassionate Investigational New Drug Program.
"There were dozens of American citizens who got approval from the federal government to use cannabis to treat their debilitating medical conditions," Dr. Chen says, "The government would mail them cartons of cannabis cigarettes or joints for them to consume."
The program stopped adding new patients in 1992, but some of the original recipients are still alive today. And yes, they still get government-issued weed.
Interested in learning more about the government's weed program — or in finding out the answers to even more intriguing questions, like is weed addictive and can it kill your brain cells? Watch Mashable's Weedwise on YouTube(opens in a new tab), featuring new episodes every other week.
How to grow scallions in water, because we know youre considering it
A sprinkle of fresh chopped green onion makes lots of pantry meals, from ramen to stir fry to even plain rice, feel a little fancy. Luckily for you, green onions (or scallions) are also one of the easiest vegetables to regrow while staying at home.
Start with the vegetable's white end, which is the part you usually trim off before chopping. Place each end root-down in a glass or mason jar filled with enough water to cover the bulbs completely. (You can use any glass receptacle, really. Feel free to break out the fancy drinking glasses to add some visual interest.) Then put the jar near your sunniest window and wait.
You may never buy scallions again.Credit: Getty Images / EyeEm
Within a few days, you should start to see green regrowth. Congratulations! Your precious allium children are coming in. In another week or so, you'll probably have enough length to snip off and chop up. Congratulations again: Your sad scrambled eggs will be sad no longer.
Feel free to put multiple bulbs in the same container. (How many, of course, depends on the size of your cup.) If the scallions get too crowded, simply move them to a larger container and change out the water. If you notice the water level getting low, just refresh it a bit. There are truly no tricks to any of this!
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Stored properly in the fridge, your scallions will last for at least a week. The conventional wisdom here is to place them in a jar filled with a few inches of water, then cover the whole thing with a Ziploc-style bag.
If you happen to grow more scallions than you can use, you can store chopped-up extras in the freezer. I generally store mine in a baggie, but HGTV recommends(Opens in a new tab) storing them in a frozen plastic bottle to create a makeshift scallion shaker.
Green onions are probably the most iconic edible plant to grow in water — and the only one I've personally tried — but they're far from your only option. You can also try(Opens in a new tab) leeks (which are alliums just like scallions), bok choy, basil, or cilantro.
Your new life as a scallion farmer may end when social distancing concludes, and that's perfectly fine. But you might find that the pursuit is worth it even in normal times. A windowsill full of bright veggies is a pretty sight, after all — plus, you'll never run out.
Woman fell asleep on an Air Canada flight and awoke to find herself alone on the plane
Most people know that flying can be scary, but it turns out simply sitting in a stationary plane at the airport can be a nightmare, too.
We know this thanks to Facebook user Deanna Noel-Dale(Opens in a new tab), who shared a post to Air Canada's page on Wednesday on behalf of her friend, Tiffani Adams. The post detailed a terrifying experience that Adams had after she fell asleep on an Air Canada flight and woke up hours later to find that the plane had landed and she was the only person left onboard.
Apparently, Adams had a row to herself on a flight from Quebec to Toronto that was about a quarter of the way full. She got comfortable and fell asleep less than halfway through the hour-and-a-half flight, only to wake up around midnight, freezing cold and on a pitch black plane. That's when she realized everyone had deplaned without waking her.
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Adams texted her friend to let her know she was alone on the dark plane, and seconds after the two started a FaceTime conversation Adams' phone died.
"I’m trying to focus on my breathing and control my panic attack while I attempt to charge my phone by plugging into every USB port I could find..no luck bc when they shut the aircraft down there is no power whatsoever," the post reads.
Unsure of how to exit the plane, Adams ventured to the cockpit and found a flashlight, which she began to wave outside the window in attempt to flag someone down. She said she used the flashlight to illuminate the door and managed to unlatch it, but after opening it she looked down and noticed that she was suspended dozens of feet in the air. Luckily, after some time a luggage cart drove by.
"When I see the luggage cart driving towards me I am literally dangling my legs out of the plane... he is in shock asking how the heck they left me on the plane," the post read. "Anyway the guy had the ladder dock and I jumped to safety before he was even a foot from the door."
Umm... OK Air Canada. That's absolutely terrifying. What the heck?
A spokesperson from the airline confirmed the account to Mashable and said they are still reviewing the matter, "have followed up with the customer and remain in contact with her."
After the ordeal, Adams noted that an Air Canada car drove her to speak with a representative who offered to book her a limo and hotel for the night. She reportedly declined and wanted to go straight home, as she had work in the morning.
"Air Canada called Monday and Tuesday, both people again ask me to repeat what happened, apologize for my inconvenience and say they will do an investigation bc they have checks in place that should prevent people from being locked on the aircraft at night," the Facebook post explained.
Adams also added that she hasn't gotten much sleep since the incident, and is experiencing anxiety and night terrors, which is completely understandable.
File this under, "Travel Nightmares That Must Never Be Repeated," please.
UPDATE: June 23, 2019, 5:48 p.m. EDT Updated with a statement from Air Canada.
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Miley Cyrus opens up about Liam Hemsworth in lengthy Twitter thread
It's been almost two weeks now since the news broke(Opens in a new tab) that Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth have separated.
On Thursday, the singer posted on Twitter about it for the first time. Over an 11-tweet thread, she spoke about the mistakes she's made in the past, while denying that the marriage ended because of cheating.
"The truth is, once Liam & I reconciled, I meant it, & I was committed," Cyrus wrote. "There are NO secrets to uncover here. I’ve learned from every experience in my life. I’m not perfect, I don’t want to be, it’s boring. I’ve grown up in front of you, but the bottom line is, I HAVE GROWN UP.
"I can admit to a lot of things but I refuse to admit that my marriage ended because of cheating. Liam and I have been together for a decade. I’ve said it before & it remains true, I love Liam and always will."
Here's the thread, in full.
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